I Want a Refund!
by Red Dragonfly
Summary: After Kuno learns about Ranma’s curse, he’s outraged—at Nabiki. Will he ever get his revenge? Will he ever get a clue? Once again, place your bets. Nabiki x Kuno. The final chapter is up. What will happen in the emotional conclusion? Read and see.
1. Author's Note, blah, blah, blah

**I Want a Refund!**

**Summary**: After Kuno learns about Ranma's curse, he's outraged—at Nabiki. Will he ever get his revenge? Will he ever get a clue? Once again, place your bets…

Rated T for language and innuendo.

**Copyright**: Last time I borrowed Rumiko Takahashi's characters. This time I'm stealing them. They are mine to do with as I please. Bwahahahaha. (Evil laugh.) Er… please don't sue.

**Table of Contents**:

Chapter 1: A Simple Solution

Chapter 2: Old Photographs

Chapter 3: The Battle Begins

Chapter 4: The Champion

Chapter 5: The Date

Chapter 6: Anything

**Author's note**: First, for those who read Umbrella of Lies, this is my apology fanfic. Humor and romance should never make people cry at the end. Here is the happy ending you want. For those of you who didn't read Umbrella of Lies, it's not necessary to read it to enjoy this fanfic. But I wouldn't say no to a few more reviews for my Umbrella story. :)

Okay, my second attempt at humor and romance. You'd think I'd be better at it, but I've probably just grown worse. Also, the second time I've already written the rough draft and had yet to revise it. Revision takes me forever. You've been warned. This story takes place when Nabiki and Kuno are beginning their third and final year of high school, after the end of the Ranma series. I would like the characters to mature a little. Will that make them OOC? I hope not, but in the end, I can only do my best and hope it works out.

**Interpretation of Characters**: Nabiki and Kuno can and have been interpreted many different ways—that's what makes them so fun. This time, I want to explore some new aspects in the character. Here's what I'm up to.

Tatewaki Kuno: I don't see him as stupid. No, Kuno's problem, in my opinion, is that he spins his own little fantasy world for himself and then he can't step out of it and see the whole picture clearly. Throughout the entire Ranma ½ series Kuno has been pursuing Akane and/or Ranma. He's thrown everything he has into this doomed courtship: his thoughts, his emotions, his physical ability, and his imagination. So what happens if you take that away? What will he channel his energy into then?

Nabiki Tendo: Here's a radical idea: Nabiki doesn't do everything for the sole purpose of money. Sometimes in all her dastardly schemes, she's really trying to teach people a lesson—and get paid for it at the same time. I think that Nabiki has a moral code. It's hidden, complex, and hypocritical—but it's there. You may disagree with me, but I want to explore this a little in this story. Of course, Nabiki is still and always will be an incurable trickster. Do not trust anything she says. For the purposes of this story, she has a little crush on Kuno.

Well, nothing more to say. Happy reading!


	2. 1: A Simple Solution

**I Want a Refund!**

**Chapter 1: A Simple Solution**

………

………

It was the last day of spring vacation. Nabiki was sitting in the living room, filling out orders for her business when she heard the front door open.

"We're home," Akane said in a tired voice.

"Welcome back sis," Nabiki said. "How was the honeymoon?"

Akane dropped the suitcases with a thud. Her eye was twitching. "Don't ask."

"Why, what happened? Were you and Ranma fighting again?"

"Ranma wasn't the problem. For once," Akane said

"Then what—?"

Wham! Ranma dumped the rumpled form of Tatewaki Kuno at her feet. He was facedown, but Nabiki recognized him by his kendo clothes, which were thoroughly splattered with mud. Kuno's wooden sword was broken and his hair was sticking up.

"So," Nabiki said. "Is that my souvenir or Kasumi's?"

Strings of hair poked out of Ranma's pigtail. "Whoever wants him can keep him as far as I'm concerned," he said.

Shouts of congratulations came from outside. Akane had gone out by the carp pond where Soun, Genma, and Kasumi were. Ranma didn't move. His hands were clenched into tight fists, and he stared at Kuno like some sort of bug he'd clearly like to squash.

Nabiki crawled over to Kuno, and pushed him with a finger, so that he was front side up. Not that his front side was any better. There was a red mark across his face and several bumps across his head. He still clutched at a bunch of thorny stems, and red petals were stuck to the front of his shirt.

"Who was he after this time, you or Akane?" Nabiki said.

"Me," Ranma said. "Definitely me. Or the pigtailed girl, I should say. What rotten luck, running into him there. And it was raining all week."

"Hm," Nabiki said.

"I can't take this anymore!" Ranma said. "Everyone else, they get it. Me and Akane are married now, so they leave us alone. But he—" Ranma kicked him. "He just doesn't get it. How long is this going to go on? Forever?"

Kuno stirred. "Oh… pigtailed girl…"

Ranma wacked him, and Kuno went unconscious again.

"Well, it seems you have a problem," Nabiki said. "Maybe I can help."

Ranma's face lit up. "Really?"

"Yep. How much money do you have on you?"

"I have to pay? Come on, Nabiki!"

"How much?"

Ranma took out his wallet. "1500 yen."

"That's it?"

"It was our honeymoon."

"Did you bring me any souvenirs?"

"Uh…"

Nabiki crossed her arms. "Not much of an offer Ranma. If Kuno learns the truth, I lose my best customer."

"Nabiki, can you really do it?" Akane said. She was standing in the doorway, looking hopeful. "Please, can't you just get rid of him for us? It's hard enough being married without having a third person always tagging along."

Nabiki sighed. She was really getting to be too nice.

"Fine," she said, snatching Ranma's 1500 yen from his fingers. "Consider it a wedding present, then. But the next time you go on a trip, you'd better bring me back something good."

She dragged Kuno the rest of the way into the living room.

"All right," Nabiki said. "Akane, I need a pitcher of ice water, a kettle of hot water, and the tea and cookies Kasumi made. Ranma, be ready to come in when I call you. I need space and total privacy. Got it!"

They nodded and moved. When everything was prepared, Nabiki shut the doors.

Kuno groaned. He was really pitiful, now that she thought about it. All bruised and dirty like that. She felt sorry for him. Maybe she should let him sleep a little longer.

"Pigtailed girl…soon you will be mine…"

Okay, she didn't feel that sorry for him. Nabiki smacked him with a slipper.

"Kuno-baby. Time to wake up, now."

………

Through the shadows and the pain came a light tapping. Above him, a girl. His pigtailed goddess! But no—for when she turned away, her swishing hair was shorter and of a different color. Someone else. No doubt some other gentle maid who had fallen in love with his defeated yet still magnificent personage.

"You have my thanks..." Tatewaki Kuno said. "I shall not forget this noble gesture… nursing me to health…"

"Yeah, no problem, Kuno-baby."

Nabiki? Kuno rose from the floor, flinching for but an instant as a wave of vertigo split his head. Indeed, now that his eyesight had stopped swimming, he could perceive that it was in fact Nabiki. Not his love, nor some mysterious beauty, but his classmate, the mercenary of Furinkan High.

"Nabiki Tendo, what are you doing here?" he said.

"Where else would I be?" she said. "It's my house."

So it was. "How did I get here?"

"That's not important right now," Nabiki said. "What's important is that you listen to what I have to say. There's something I need to tell you about the pigtailed girl."

"You know where she is?" Kuno said. "You know where the villain Saotome has hidden her, what foul curses he has used to ensnare her? The fiend! He has married Akane Tendo, my lovely Akane, fair and mild as the dawn, and yet he refuses to relinquish the pigtailed girl. My poor pigtailed girl, like a beautiful rose crushed beneath the heel of a savage. I will vanquish the sorcerer! I will free her, once and for all, and claim her as my own!"

Nabiki took a cookie from a plate and munched on it.

"And now," Kuno said, "you will tell me what has become of my love."

"Promise you won't interrupt?"

"You have my solemn oath."

"Okay." Nabiki put the rest of her cookie down. "The pigtailed girl is Ranma. Whenever he gets splashed with cold water, he changes into a girl. Hot water changes him back."

Kuno waited patiently for the words Nabiki spoke to make sense.

"Did you get that?" she said.

" 'The pigtailed girl is Ranma. Whenever he gets splashed with cold water, he changes into a girl.' " Kuno repeated. "I cannot for the life of me fathom what you are talking about. Where has the sorcerer Ranma hidden my pigtailed girl?"

"You want to see her?" Nabiki stood up. "Okay, I'm going to show you the pigtailed girl. But I want you to watch very carefully, Kuno-baby. Just watch. If you try to hug her or whatever, you'll never learn the secret."

So there was a secret. Kuno felt himself tremble with excitement. He had waited long for this, so very long. How many nights he'd dreamt of freeing the pigtailed girl that they might date together in blissful love, to then be woken by the harsh sunlight and know that for another day she belonged to Ranma. But now it would change. Soon, she would be his.

"Very well," Kuno said. "Though true love such as ours demands action, I shall this one time restrain myself for the sake of our future together."

"Good." Nabiki picked up the pitcher in one hand and the kettle in the other and walked over to the door. "Ranma, you can come in now."

"Yeah, Nabiki?"

Nabiki tipped the pitcher, and a stream of water landed on black head of Ranma Saotome. But no—now the water landed on the head of his beloved pigtailed girl. Though dressed in the same clothes as Ranma, her figure was soft and feminine, a Venus made to flesh. When she shook out her glossy pigtail, beads of water splashed onto Kuno's skin.

"Geez, that water's freezing," the pigtailed girl said.

There was such vigor in her words, such strange and wonderful strength. Passion swelled in Kuno's chest, and had not Nabiki held up a finger in warning, very likely he would have run to her. But he remembered—if he did not learn her secret now, they would never be together—and so, with great regret, Kuno held himself back.

Nabiki held up the kettle and poured hot water onto the pigtailed girl's head. In a swirl of steam, she vanished, and there stood his hated rival, Ranma.

"Ouch! That's hot!" he said.

"Sorry Ranma," Nabiki said. "You can go now."

Like a dog, he shook out his pigtail and sent water flying, before exiting the room.

"Do you get it now?" Nabiki said. "The pigtailed girl is Ranma."

Kuno frowned. Although he had watched Nabiki's demonstration with the utmost care, he still did not understand the pigtailed girl's secret, and Nabiki's cryptic words were just as incomprehensible. Yet something pulled at the back of his mind, something dim and hazy and troubling. A memory of some sort. What was it?

Nabiki sat down again. She poured hot water from the kettle into a tea pot and swirled it around. A kettle? Nabiki took out two small porcelain cups and put one in front of him.

"You look tense, Kuno-baby," she said. "Would you like some tea?"

Tea. Kettle. To the Kettle-Borne Pigtailed Girl, he wrote in his first love letter to her. The day he met his future love, she was hanging upside down in a tree, struggling for some reason to hold a kettle. She was wet. That same day, he had chased Ranma out the window of the school building and they fell into the pool below. Kuno reached out to grab Ranma, only to find himself grasping a struggling young woman instead. His pigtailed girl. But where had Ranma gone? Where had the pigtailed girl come from? He had never figured that out.

The pigtailed girl is Ranma, Nabiki had said.

The pigtailed girl… is Ranma?

The pigtailed girl…_ is Ranma!_

In an instant, the nature of Ranma's sorcery became clear: Ranma had not been hiding the pigtailed girl, he had been _turning into_ the pigtailed girl.

Kuno had been chasing a boy the whole time. Not a girl, a boy. And no ordinary boy, but his hated rival, the villain Saotome. The blissful dates he'd been on with the pigtailed girl had been dates with Ranma. The times he had embraced her, it was Ranma he held close. The photographs he'd purchased and gazed at long into the night. Ranma, Ranma, Ranma.

Kuno burst into laughter. "Hahahahaha!"

He felt a sense of elation, as though it was the most beautiful day, and the sky was blue and the grass was green and the birds twittered happily in the sky above. Kuno was as light-headed as the birds. He felt like he could fly. He was flying! No, he was falling! But when his head smacked the table, Kuno didn't feel any pain. Just a pleasant tingling and a smattering of rainbows.

Splash.

Kuno opened his eyes. Hot water dripped down his face. Nabiki stood before him, an empty teacup in her hand.

"You all right?" she said.

"Nabiki Tendo, I just had the most amusing dream. You told me the pigtailed girl was Ranma. Imagine that. My most dearly treasured love and my most cursed nemesis the very same person."

Nabiki sighed. "Okay, let's try this again."

………

To Kuno's credit, he didn't faint this time. For that matter, he didn't laugh, cry, or destroy the house in a fit of rage. He sat stiffly in a formal position with his hands on his thighs like a samurai from a drama, his face utterly expressionless. Nabiki wasn't sure if he was in shock or just clueless.

"So…you understand the situation?" she said.

"You have made your point abundantly clear," Kuno said. "The pigtailed girl is Ranma. Ranma is the pigtailed girl. They are the same."

"Then you understand why Ranma and Akane would appreciate it if you stopped your…er, courtship…of the pigtailed girl."

"You may tell Akane that I will never pursue her husband again," he said. His hands were balled up so tightly into his legs it was wrinkling the fabric of his kendo outfit. "Was there anything else you wished to inform me of, Nabiki Tendo?"

"No, Kuno-baby, that was just about it," Nabiki said.

"Then I will take my leave."

Kuno stood up and strode out the door. Except for the small fact that his complexion was a few shades paler than usual, he seemed fine. She would even say, composed. Nabiki underestimated him. Once it sunk into his head, Kuno had actually taken the news very well.

From outside came a scream. "RANMA SAOTOME, SHAPESHIFTING SORCEROR, YOU WILL DIE!!!"

Nabiki smiled. Yep, very well. She poured herself a cup of tea. In a way, it made her feel a little sad. She wouldn't be able to sell Kuno any more photographs, so now she had no reason to talk to him during the school day. And when she thought of all the money she was losing, her steadiest source of income, it made her want to cry.

………

**Author's note**: Why isn't Kuno mad at Nabiki? Don't worry, he will be. It's coming in the next chapter….

By the way, 100 yen is roughly a dollar, so 1500 yen is the equivalent of 15 dollars. The Japanese school year ends in March and starts in April, after a brief (two week) spring vacation.


	3. 2: Old Photographs

**I Want a Refund!**

**Chapter 2: Old Photographs**

………

………

The battle had been fierce, but in the end, there could be only one victor. Only one man could stand proud in the moonlight, with his sword on his shoulder, and his head raised high. One day, that man would be Tatewaki Kuno. But alas, it was not to be tonight.

Tonight, it was Ranma who stood—or rather walked—with Kuno's sword in one hand and the other fastened tight around the back collar of Kuno's shirt, dragging him through the streets in the direction of Kuno's abode. Kuno could feel the pebbles hit him and the slight burn of friction, but those pains were small compared to the humiliation: that he, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, should be dragged around like a sweater! And by his adversary no less, this mutation of man and woman—it was too much to bear!

"Triumph while you can, but Tatewaki Kuno shall persist! I shall not stop until I have my vengeance!"

"Fine by me," Ranma said. "I can kick your butt any day of the week if I have to."

"You mock me! But I shall not forget this grievous insult, no, nor the thousand others you have dealt me."

"You're not the only one who suffered, you know," Ranma said. "I'm the one who had to put up with all your hugs and poetry and crazy schemes to get the pigtailed girl on a date. All because you couldn't get it through your thick skull that I _was _the pigtailed girl."

"Just tell me why!" Kuno said. "Why, Ranma Saotome, did you hate me so much that you would wish this evil upon me? What grudge was so great that you would cast aside your own manhood in this insidious scheme to play with my heart, cursing me with pain and humiliation which I must bear for the rest of my days! Why? What had I ever done to you?"

"Oh, for crying—I didn't want this to happen! I never wanted to be a girl!"

Such weak words were no balm to Kuno's wounded pride. Ranma was not a man to be trusted—if he was a man at all.

Ranma suddenly let go of Kuno's shirt, causing Kuno's head to come crashing to the sidewalk. Kuno turned and realized he was looking at the gates of his mansion.

"There. That's as far as I'm going," Ranma said. "You're on your own now."

For several minutes, Kuno lay there. The night had come and spread its murky calligraphy over the sky and Ranma was triumphant once more. In Kuno's hour of misery, only the stars gave him comfort. They smiled on him, they reminded him of his love, and Kuno could see now reflected in their hazy glow the image of his angel, his goddess. The beautiful visage of… of… of….

But no.

Kuno had no love now, not even one. The stars were empty.

Heavy was his heart, and heavier it became, when he entered his room and turned on the lights. A thousand pictures of the pigtailed girl—nay, of Ranma Saotome—smiled lovingly back at him. Leered at him. A twisted smirk that even now caused his heart to stir and his stomach to churn. This mockery of an angel. This goddess of deceit. Kuno's battle aura rose. He would destroy this serpent, this dove, this demon, this tigress, this, this, this—

Kuno fell over onto his bed. Though his spirit swelled like the crest of a wave, his body collapsed like a castle of sand. He had fought Ranma nonstop for two weeks. He was spent. Utterly spent.

But sleep did not take him immediately, and so he thought of Akane. He did not love her anymore. When he learned that she was married, he vowed to do what was honorable and right. So he took all his photographs of her, his most dear and treasured possessions; wrapped them in black paper; and held a funeral for them in his backyard. It was a solemn and touching ceremony, with only half a dozen bouquets and one Buddhist priest—far more tasteful than the garish parade of mourning his twisted sister held for Ranma. That day, his love for Akane was laid to rest and a new sense of clarity filled him. The pigtailed girl had been his one true love all along. It was time to woo her and make her his own.

But the pigtailed girl was Ranma.

"The pigtailed girl is Ranma," Nabiki told him, as though it were as simple as tying her shoes. "The pigtailed girl is Ranma." Her careless words were a knife through his very soul.

"The pigtailed girl is Ranma." Suddenly all around his room the photographs of the pigtailed girl burst to life: one thousand Ranmas, all girlish and giggling, with their arms open wide to him.

"Upperclassman Kuno, we love you so much," they said.

"Begone from me!" he said. "I know who you really are."

"The pigtailed girl is Ranma." It was always Nabiki's voice, but where was she? Kuno scanned the room desperately, but there was no one. No one except the hundreds and hundreds of Pigtailed Girl Ranma Saotome who were running towards him, eyes bright with love.

They were changing. Their bodies melted together and took the form of one giant man. That man was Ranma. His face was the size of a billboard and written on it was same loving gaze as on the pigtailed girls'. Such a gaze filled Kuno with cold terror.

"Upperclassman Kuno, I love you," Ranma said.

"No!" he said. "Begone!"

"Upperclassman! You said you'd love me forever. You swore it."

"I did not know!"

"The pigtailed girl is Ranma," Nabiki said.

"You swore, you swore!" Ranma said. One huge hand reached down. "You said you said you'd be mine forever!"

"The pigtailed girl is Ranma."

"I take it back!" Kuno screamed.

With a last burst of speed, Kuno ran for the door. The handle was in his hand when Ranma's fingers squeezed around his waist, catching him, pulling him up, up, up. The door exploded off its hinges. Standing behind it was Nabiki.

"The pigtailed girl is Ranma," she said. "Oh hello, Kuno-baby." She held out five photographs and spread them open like a fan. "Want to buy some pictures?"

"No!" Kuno said. "I take it all back!"

He woke up in a cold sweat.

The light was still on. Around his room, the photographs of Ranma sat on his wall, unmoving. When Kuno looked out the window, it was grey dawn, a foggy morning with mist creeping upon the lawn. Thoughts always came more clearly to Tatewaki Kuno in the first breath of day and as the last of his dream floated in his mind he saw his path. Turning back to the photographs, he knew what he must do.

………

It was before the first bell, and Nabiki, looking out the window of her homeroom class, couldn't find Kuno anywhere. Odd. He was usually up first thing in the morning, dressed in his kendo uniform, waiting to challenge Ranma to his morning fight. And then Ranma and Akane would leapfrog onto his head, and the day could officially begin. But Kuno wasn't here today. Ranma and Akane walked through the schoolyard without encountering any kind of armed resistance at all.

Nabiki sighed. Just one more thing that had changed. She rested her head on her hand, gazing listlessly as school uniforms moved through the gates. There was nothing to look forward to. No drama with Ranma and Akane. No schemes in play. No money to make. She would have to figure out something to amuse her or school would be dull, dull, dull this year.

THUNK!

And suddenly there was a mountain of photo albums on her desk. A few loose photographs that had been stuffed into the pages fluttered out and settled like leaves on the floor. Pictures of girl Ranma. Nabiki raised her eyebrows. Kuno was standing over her, head down, arms across his chest, in a pose of contemplation. A new kendo stick was tucked into his belt, but he was wearing his school uniform for once.

"I have thought it over and decided," he said. "It is not enough to destroy these monstrosities, though I would dearly love to do so. Destroying them would not exorcise the impunities I have suffered. No, there is only one thing to do. I must erase my love. I must go back to the beginning and make it so that it never occurred."

"Uh-huh," Nabiki said. "And why are you telling this to me?"

"I want a refund."

She must not have heard him correctly. "You want a what?"

"A refund, Nabiki Tendo, of all the photographs of the pigtailed girl I have ever purchased. In this way, it will be as if my love for Ranma had never existed and my heart will be purified once more."

"I don't do refunds," Nabiki said, crossing her arms. "You should know by now that all purchases, bets, and exchanges of service are final."

"Oh, I know well of your greed," Kuno said. "But surely even you must see the righteousness in this. If you have sold faulty merchandise, even by accident, it is your duty to refund it."

"How is my merchandise faulty?"

"These are photographs of Ranma Saotome."

"And?"

"And I do not buy photographs of men!"

"Then, next time, try learning something about the person you fall in love with. Little things like, does she love you back. Or, does she change into a boy when doused with hot water."

"How on earth was I supposed to know that?" Kuno said. "Is it a normal thing, for a man to change into a woman through some mysterious alchemy of water?"

"Well everyone else managed to figure it."

"What do you mean, everyone?"

"The whole school knew, Kuno-baby."

"They knew?" Kuno went pale. "The whole school knew I, Tatewaki Kuno, Blue Thunder of Furinkan, was a pursuing a _boy_?"

"Pretty much."

Kuno's whole body froze up, like a deer in the headlights, and he looked sick. Nabiki felt a tug of conscious. Kuno was, after all, a guy, and that meant he had a delicate ego. And guy or not, no one liked finding out that he was the butt of a school-wide joke. She sighed.

"All right, I feel bad for you, Kuno-baby, so here's what I'll do. You go off and fall in love with another girl and tell me her name. I'll arrange for you to get photos of her for a discount of—"

Kuno slammed his sword into her desk. The force of the blow ripped the through the pile of albums, and, _crack!_, split the desk in half. The severed photo albums fell on either side, spilling loose photographs like entrails onto the floor.

"Nabiki Tendo, are the deepest wounds of my heart worth nothing more to you than the profits you can wring from them?" Kuno said. "You colder than I had imagined!" He pointed his sword at her, his arm shaking. "How long did you know my pigtailed goddess was a man and how long did you continue to encourage my love for him?"

Why did he always have to be so overdramatic? Now everyone was staring at them and starting to whisper. Nabiki felt annoyed. She tried to be nice and this was where it got her.

"Kuno-baby, let's step outside," she said.

Once they were in the hall, Nabiki squared her shoulders and put her hands on her hips.

"You want to know the truth?" Nabiki said. "All right. I knew your pigtailed girl was Ranma Saotome from the first time I sold you a photograph. And I'm not going to apologize for it either. Because you deserved it."

His face twisted with indignation. "_I_ deserved it?"

"You heard me. My sister walks into school on the first day of classes, and by the end of the week you've set all the perverts of Furinkan on her. Ranma walks in, you don't even know her name, and suddenly you love her too. I mean, please. I hardly had to do anything. I wasn't the one to embarrass you. You did it to yourself."

"The gall," Kuno said. "You conned me! You robbed me of my money and played me for a fool. And yet you would blame me?"

"Yeah, I would," Nabiki said. "And as for conning you, consider it my kind and loving message: Get a clue!"

Kuno's face contorted again, and he opened his mouth as if to yell at her. Then stopped. Put his hand to his chin. Nabiki could practically see him thinking and not in a good way. His eyes glazed over, looking far into the distance, and whatever actual pain had been etched on his face before was turning into an expression of dreamy stupidity.

"Ah, but now I do see," Kuno said. "It was not Ranma who was the sorcerer after all, for he would have had nothing to gain from it. It was you, Nabiki Tendo. You schemed from the beginning to rob me and humiliate me, all the while acting as my friend and confidant. You turned my pigtailed goddess into Ranma Saotome! I see now, that you, Nabiki Tendo, were my enemy all along."

"As per usual, Kuno-baby," Nabiki said. "You don't see anything at all."

The bell rang.

"See you in class," she said.

"Nabiki Tendo, I will have my revenge," Kuno said. "It would not be honorable to fight you as a martial artist, so I will battle you on your own territory. I declare to you now: until you give me my refund, I will see to it that you never make money again!"

Nabiki turned. "Is that supposed to be a threat?"

"It is a challenge!" he said.

"Facing you in a battle of wits would hardly be challenging," she said.

"We shall see," Kuno said. "Prepare yourself, demon mercenary. I shall triumph, and you, Nabiki Tendo, shall rue the day you ever opposed Tatewaki Kuno."

"Whatever you say, Kuno-baby."

But as she walked into the classroom, Nabiki smiled to herself. Well. Kuno had yet to get a clue, but so much the better for her. If he was serious about his challenge, it looked as though Nabiki might just have something to amuse herself with after all.


	4. 3: The Battle Begins

**I Want a Refund!**

**Chapter 3: The Battle Begins**

………

………

His adversary stood beneath a tree and laughed at the joke of an unworthy underclassman boy. Nabiki Tendo, a most sinister foe. Cold fury frosted in Kuno's belly as he gripped the handle of his sword. Once he had considered her to be a friend, but she had betrayed him and now he would strike at her where it hurt the most: her wallet.

Rays of light trickled down, down through the leaves; the hapless underclassman spoke again, and Nabiki's eyes glinted. In that instant her nature was revealed: sharp eyes, sharp for profits, like the glowing eyes of a tiger that could pierce midnight itself. Nabiki was stalking her prey, but Kuno would not allow it. She opened her book bag, and he charged. With a mighty war cry, Kuno sprang between the two and held his faithful sword steady in front of the face of the terrified underclassman.

"I will warn you now," he said. "Nabiki Tendo is an unscrupulous merchant who will do anything to get her hands on money. I am calling on the school to boycott her. If you persist in buying goods from her, I will have no choice but to unleash the wrath of Blue Thunder upon you."

"Uh, Kuno-baby." Nabiki tapped him on the shoulder. "This isn't a business transaction. He's asking me out on a date, and I was giving him my phone number."

"Ha! Even worse," Kuno said. "You think I do not know, Nabiki Tendo, how profitable your 'dates' really are. They are nothing but elaborate schemes to make money. You!" He jabbed his sword at the trembling underclassman. "Never try to date with Nabiki again. If I see you asking her out, you will be severely punished."

The underclassman fled, and Kuno turned to his adversary.

"And so it shall be every time, Nabiki Tendo," he said. "Whatever deals you make, whatever goods you sell, I shall be there to interfere. There will be no escape. Surrender to me now."

Nabiki crossed her arms. "Really, Kuno-baby, boycotting me is bad enough, but you have no right to interfere with my love life."

"Love?" Kuno laughed. "You are incapable of that. I told you, Nabiki Tendo, until you relent, no profits shall fall into your hands. Whether they take the form of cash, presents, or dinners makes no difference to me. You shall know the true horror of what it is to challenge the Blue Thunder to battle."

"So, let me get this straight," Nabiki said. "You're saying I can't go on any dates, and you'll beat up any guy that asks me. Is that about right?"

"You are correct. Let it be known, here and now, that I, Tatewaki Kuno, forbid any man to date with Nabiki Tendo."

A flash of light from behind. An ambush! Kuno whirled around to meet—a skinny underclassman girl with a camera in her hand. He blinked and the camera flashed again. Then, all around him, erupting from the bushes, more girls with pencils stuck behind their ears and pads of paper in their hands. Nabiki smirked.

"There you have it," she said. "Kuno doesn't want me to date. I have it right here on tape if you didn't catch it." She pulled a mini tape recorder out of her pocket.

"Nabiki Tendo, what is the meaning of this?" Kuno said.

"Just a little publicity," Nabiki said. "Always good for business."

He flushed. The photographer girl snapped another picture and now the reporter girls began circling him, leaves poking out of their hair.

"Would you care to explain why you forbid other men to date Nabiki?"

"Is it true that you asked Nabiki on a date and she refused you?"

"Would you like to respond to the rumors that you have unrequited feelings for Nabiki Tendo?"

"My feelings for Nabiki are nothing but the deepest hatred. I have never asked her on a date and I never will. I have forbidden her to date in order to deprive her of funds." Kuno glared over them. "Nabiki Tendo, is there no depths to which you won't sink?"

"Nabiki, would you care to comment?" the girl closest to her said.

"Not at this time, but I'll give you an exclusive interview later on." Nabiki tilted her head at Kuno, causing her hair to slide down. "You were the one who declared there was a battle between us, Kuno-baby."

"But these insinuations—"

The reporter girls leaned forward.

Kuno stepped out of their circle and walked over to the other side of Nabiki.

"These insinuations that I have feelings for you," he resumed. "What do you hope to accomplish by spreading such disgusting rumors about me?"

"I didn't come up with that," Nabiki said. "I just told them you were going to stop me from dating and let them draw their own conclusions. But if rumors bother you, I can make them stop…for a fee."

"These rumors are nothing to me," Kuno said. "You have trampled on my pride and dashed my very heart to pieces. And, therefore, you cannot move me, but I will stand resolved. Such weak ploys, such minor humiliations, certainly will not defeat me. I'm actually surprised that you, Nabiki Tendo, could come up with no better scheme than this."

She smiled. "Kuno-baby, I haven't even gotten started yet."

………

Another day, another drama, another dollar to be made. Nabiki had a stack of school newspapers under her arm and a swarm of ideas buzzing in her head. Life was good. She slipped off her shoes and came into the house.

"I'm home," she said.

"You're late." Akane was sitting in the living room with a first aid kit on her lap. "I couldn't find you after school. What were you doing?"

Nabiki heaved the newspapers onto the table.

"Extra, extra. Read all about it. 'Nabiki Tendo and Tatewaki Kuno feuding.' 'Kuno declares no man to date Nabiki.' "

Akane frowned. "I heard about that," she said. "Rumors mostly. Is it true?"

"Yep. We're fighting."

"About what?"

"To be honest, I'm not really sure. Makes life interesting though." Nabiki took a small orange from a bowl of fruit on the table and began to peel it. "Where's Ranma?"

"He got into another fight. Something about a martial arts jumping-off-a-large-building-without-getting-hurt contest. I can't believe he actually accepted that stupid challenge."

"Well, you know Ranma."

"Yeah, I know Ranma." A faint smile crept across Akane's face. "But actually, Nabiki, there's something I think you should know. I found out—"

"I'm home," Ranma said.

He stood in the doorway with his chest puffed out. He was covered with dirt and had multiple scratches on his face. His clothes were in shreds.

"How was the fight?" Nabiki asked.

"Ha, piece of cake," Ranma said.

He took a step forward and fell flat on his face. Akane sighed, dragged him to the living room, and opened up her first aid kit.

"Honestly," Akane said. "Of all the idiots. You don't have to accept every challenge that comes your way."

"I have my pride to think of," Ranma said, from the floor.

"Here's what I think of your pride." Akane bopped him lightly on the head.

Nabiki divided her orange into separate segments. Being married had softened her sister. Akane wasn't as angry as she used to be, and she seemed more relaxed around Ranma. It was nice, but it was also… well, it was still kind of weird. Her little sister married. Her little sister growing up.

"So what was it I needed to know?" Nabiki said, popping a piece of orange into her mouth.

"Well, I'm not actually sure if it's true," Akane said. "I heard it from some girls who said they heard it from their boyfriends, but…well, I found out some guys were buying pictures of you this afternoon."

"Really? Of me? How much were they going for?"

"Nabiki! Doesn't this bother you at all?"

"Of course it does. Photographs are my market, and if someone thinks they can come in and take it from me, they'd better think again. I'll show them. Whatever they produce, I can do it better and cheaper."

"What did I tell you," Ranma said, looking up Akane. "She has ice in her veins."

"Stay out of this, Ranma," Akane said, putting a Band-Aid over his mouth. "Nabiki, this is serious. Do you have any idea what it's like to have a group of perverts trailing your every move? It's not fun."

"Their interest won't last," Nabiki said. "Look, the only reason they like me now is that I've suddenly become 'forbidden.' Guys want what they can't have."

And that was precisely what she was counting on.

"So then, it's Kuno's fault they're after you," Akane said. "He's the one who forbid you to date." She looked down at Ranma.

"Yeah, all right," he said. "Do you want me to kick his butt for you?"

"No," Nabiki said. "Ranma, Akane, I appreciate your wanting to help, but this is my fight. Kuno challenged my ability to make money. My reputation is at stake. I'll battle him on my terms, and believe me, I won't lose."

"I didn't know you felt so strongly about this," Akane said softly.

"I do," Nabiki said. She took another orange from the bowl. "Besides, there's nothing like a good drama to make people open their wallets. Kuno doesn't know it, but his little challenge is going to make me very rich." She peeled the skin from the orange in one long spiral. "I'll make sure of it."

………

Kuno ran up the stairwell. Nabiki Tendo was not in the final homeroom class; Nabiki Tendo had eluded him. Since that morning, she had carried a bulky canvas bag on her shoulder, wearing a secretive smile on her lips. What plot, what dastardly scheme had taken root in her brain he did not know, but he would find out and put an end to it. For he was Tatewaki Kuno, age 18, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan, and he would not be diverted so easily from his vengeance.

At the top of the stairwell, he searched but did not see Nabiki Tendo among the maidens in their green school uniforms. Did she hide from him? Ah, but let her hide, let her cower in fear, for he would scour the world to spite her. And so, Kuno ran through the hall, passing two boys holding a photograph and speaking to each other in a tone of excitement.

"Let's go then. We should hurry."

"Yeah. I can't wait to see what Nabiki is—"

Nabiki! With a screech, Kuno came to an abrupt and graceful halt in front of the boys, fluidly pointing his sword at them at the same time.

"You know of Nabiki Tendo's whereabouts?" Kuno said. "Tell me!"

These boys—for they were boys, sallow freshmen with limp black hair—paled to the color of lilies and dropped their photograph to the floor. A picture of Nabiki. She wore her gym uniform, her long legs exposed, and she was leaning back against the sunlight, eyes closed. In the pit of his stomach, anger flared.

"Fiends!" Kuno cried.

But they were already running, slipping and pushing their way through the halls. Kuno gave chase. They dared hold a token of Nabiki's love! They dared defy him! Turning a corner, one boy tripped. Kuno pounced, seizing him by the shirt and forcing him to his feet. The boy flinched and covered his face with his hand.

"So, you would pursue Nabiki Tendo after I forbade it?" Kuno said. "Then prepare to suffer the unending pain of the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High."

"Please, please don't hurt me."

Kuno was disgusted. "Coward!" he said. "If you wish for mercy, then answer my question. Where is Nabiki Tendo? Speak, cur, or I shall unleash my might upon you."

"She's holding a photo shoot in the woods behind the school."

"A photo shoot?"

So that was her scheme. To take pictures of herself and then, what, to sell them to these fools, these cowards? Kuno's stomach clenched. Photographs were meant to be cherished possessions, given only to ones worthy of their love, not sold indiscriminately to whoever was willing to pay. Had Nabiki no scruples?

Like a deer Kuno ran, down the stairs, out of the building, into the forest behind the school. Cherry trees crowned with snow-white blossoms mixed with bare maple and evergreen pine. There, in front of him, a crowd. Was it Nabiki? Sword clenched in hand, Kuno charged. People to his left and right dashed madly out of his path. Yes, there she was, he glimpsed her face, the startled expression in her eyes. He raised his sword.

"Nabiki Tendo, I will put an end to your evil scheme!"

Kuno's sword was a bladed wind, a silent shriek that cut into the screams of terror and pattering of fleeing footsteps. Many there were and many he felled. Yet—it tugged at the back of his mind—why were there so many? Nabiki Tendo had never been this popular before.

The battle ended quickly and soon the wood was quiet once more. Kuno stood aloft, triumphant among the prone bodies and abandoned book bags. He lowered his blade. Now to face his enemy.

"Oh, Kuno-baby. What's the problem now?"

Nabiki Tendo stood under a cherry tree, white petals falling in her hair. She wore a light red sundress with no sleeves, which drew attention her round white shoulders, her long neck, and just below…. Kuno blinked. Wait. This was Nabiki Tendo, the merchant queen of Furinkan. She was not supposed to be pretty.

Nabiki crossed her arms. "I thought," she said, "that you were just stopping me from dating. But now I'm not allowed to have my picture taken either? Or is it my new dress you object to?"

"Do not play innocent with me," he said. "There was a sizable crowd of boys surrounding you."

"And?"

"And—"

He had to stop for a second and think. Kuno did not of course care that the sight of Nabiki in a semi-revealing dress had like the pied piper of Hamlet brought all the rats of Furinkan out, detestable boys who preferred to leer at her from afar rather than court her properly. No, there had been some other reason for his anger. Oh yes, Nabiki was trying to make a profit from this somehow.

Kuno slung his sword over his shoulder. "Do you take me for a fool, Nabiki? I have known you all these years, long enough to know that you do not ordinarily have yourself photographed at school or even wear sundresses. The only reason you would do so is to make money. And I have foiled your effort."

"It's probably just as well," Nabiki said. "I didn't expect so many boys to show up and most of them were kind of perverted. Thanks for rescuing me, Kuno-baby."

"Rescu—I did not rescue you, Nabiki Tendo, I was merely destroying your evil plan. You are trying to confuse me."

Nabiki walked over to a tree, where her canvas bag lay, and pulled from it a yellow sweater. "Boy, I can't say anything to you, can I?" she said. "You're just bound and determined to twist my words."

She slipped on her sweater, covering her white arms, and buttoned it from the bottom up. Slowly the front of her dress disappeared: the tight bodice, the slim straps, the skin just below her throat. He shook himself. He, Tatewaki Kuno, was not some kind of pervert, and she, Nabiki Tendo, was not a cute girl, but his most despised mortal enemy!

"You are the one trying to twist me," Kuno said. "You wish to manipulate my emotions, turning my own feelings against me, but it will not work."

"Manipulate you?" she said. "How am I doing that?"

But he was not so foolish as to reply.

………

If she played her cards right, Nabiki could make all the boys of Furinkan come crashing down on Kuno with one simple gesture. She held the application for the school's speech contest in her hand and walked to the teacher's office to drop it off. The problem was it was risky for her as well. Her heart thumped in her chest. It was exciting, to know she could make Kuno's world tumble at his feet—or bring her own world crashing down just as quickly.

"Hey Nabiki."

She turned. "Oh, hi, Ranma. What's up?"

Ranma's hands were stuffed in his pockets and he looked rather embarrassed. "Nothing much. Well, Akane wanted to know—see, there are some guys saying some stuff about you, and I'm sure it's nothing, but Akane's worried so, uh—you want to walk home with us?"

Nabiki smiled. It was nice to know her sister cared.

"Actually, I've already got someone I'm walking home with, so tell Akane she doesn't need to worry. You guys go on ahead."

She delivered her application. Then it was just a matter of waiting. Kuno's kendo practice didn't end until five. Nabiki wrote up her speech in the library and sold some pictures and checked her business accounts online. Her profits from girl-Ranma merchandise were still on the rise. So much the better. At quarter to, she logged off and walked to the field where kendo club members met every afternoon.

Even with his body armor on and a mask covering his face, Kuno was easy to spot. He was the only one still standing. Everyone else were in various tangled heaps on the grass, their swords bent, their armor mangled. Kuno was strong. Second strongest guy in school by a wide margin. And that was a good thing for her.

Nabiki parked herself under a tree, in the shadow where it was harder to see her, and waited for the other kendo club members to limp and groan their way back to the locker room. Kuno stayed behind. He stripped off his body armor until he was down to his usual blue kendo outfit and continued practicing strokes by himself. She had noticed before, he was always the last one to leave practices. He must really enjoy it.

When the last of the kendo club members were gone and Kuno was alone, Nabiki made her way onto the field.

"Hiya, Kuno-baby."

"Nabiki?" He lowered his wooden sword. "Why do you disturb me at my practice? Ah, but we are enemies now, so this must be some insidious plot against me. Tell me now! What is your purpose? Why have you come?"

"I was wondering if you'd walk me home."

"If I'd what?"

"Walk me home," Nabiki said. "I don't know if you've noticed, but there are a lot of perverted guys who've been watching me lately. I'm worried they might try something, and I'm not strong like Akane, so I can't just fight them off myself."

He frowned. "Then why not walk home with your sister then? Or perhaps with Ranma Saotome?"

"They already left," Nabiki said.

Kuno went over to his kendo bag and began rummaging through it. It was a warm day and he was covered with sweat from his practice, so he was probably looking for his towel. Apparently, he had misplaced it.

"I am not responsible for your well-being, Nabiki Tendo," he said, still shuffling through his bag. "You are my mortal enemy. Tell me why I should help you."

"Because I'm a girl and I'm in trouble and I'm asking you nicely." Nabiki opened her bag and handed him her own towel. "Here, take mine. It's clean."

Kuno stared at her towel as if though it were a bomb. His eyes narrowed. "What do you mean by this?"

"I'm just asking if we can hold a truce this one time," Nabiki said. "Look, I know you hate me, but do you really want to see a gang of perverts attack me on my way home?"

Kuno face darkened and his eyes glazed over. He was so susceptible. Nabiki could see the fantasy rolling through his head. Helpless Nabiki Tendo walking alone down a dark alley. Helpless Nabiki Tendo gasping as perverts oozed out of the shadows. Helpless Nabiki Tendo falling to her knees, a scream stuck in her throat, as the perverts reached down to—

Kuno flushed. "Very well, I will help you once, but let it be known that nothing has changed between us. We are still enemies, Nabiki."

"Of course we are."

He took the towel from her, coloring slightly, and proceeded to wipe himself off.

They walked home together, side by side, without speaking. The light scent of flowers hung in the air, and they passed a park where a couple boys played baseball. It was the same park Nabiki used to visit in her junior high days, sitting on a swing, eating ice cream and looking through magazines. She used to see Tatewaki there too, always practicing, practicing, practicing with his kendo stick. He was short and his head was shaved and no one really thought of him as handsome back then. Just scowling and dorky. She'd liked him though.

She glanced at Kuno, now grown tall and strong and good-looking. His jaw was clenched, his hands clamped onto his sword, and his eyes darting around like he expected an ambush. He thought of her as his enemy. And maybe there was some truth to that. Because she'd never really forgiven him for falling in love with her sister or for the way he treated Akane afterwards. And so she had deceived him about Ranma. She had hurt him.

They came to the front gate of her house.

"Thanks Kuno-baby," Nabiki said. "I can take it from here."

"Is that it?" Kuno said.

"Did you want something?"

"I have walked you home, Nabiki Tendo. The least you can do is tell me how you intend to use it against me. Were there photographers lurking about that I did not see? Are you planning to further besmear my reputation? Or is it something less subtle, such as unleashing the villainous Ranma Saotome upon me?"

Nabiki smiled. "None of that. I just wanted to see if you'd actually do it. And you did. So, thank you. Tomorrow I'm going to destroy you."

She waved at him as she stepped into her yard. "Bye, bye, Kuno-baby."

………

The morning came like any other, a gathering of clouds in the sky, a light drizzling of rain. In the time of calm and ease before the first bell rang, while the other students gossiped like sparrows, Tatewaki Kuno sat rigidly in his desk and watched his adversary: Nabiki Tendo, her head resting on her hand, her eyes focused on something he could not see. _Tomorrow I'm going to destroy you_. Did she think to strike fear into his heart with such a vague, feeble threat? He had laughed in the face of death a thousand times and would laugh a thousand times more. Mere words would not cow him.

And yet… it was Nabiki. Her cunning was legendary; she was not an opponent to be taken lightly. Kuno would know her intent. But study her as he may, her bored expression revealed nothing. And when she tilted her head towards the window, even her face was lost to him, hidden behind a curtain of short, glossy hair.

"Man, I never noticed before, but Nabiki is cute."

"Yeah, and Akane's married now."

"They're sisters anyway. Must run in the family."

Kuno's stomach tightened. He had not been alone in staring at Nabiki, no, it seemed that all the boys in the room had their dew-filled eyes fixed upon her, some Cleopatra to be marveled at. Unfathomable. From whence did this affection spring? Had Nabiki overnight grown so lovely that she should now ensnare, with the exception of himself, all the men in their homeroom class?

One boy, still looking at her, leaned back and gestured to his friend.

"Hey, what do you think it would be like to #%# her?"

Kuno slammed his hand on his desk. "Do not speak such vulgar words about Nabiki in my presence."

The eyes of the entire classroom were instantly upon him. Nabiki's eyes were upon him. They glinted, and her lips pressed into a small, evil smile. Kuno felt cold. What spells, what charms did Nabiki have that she could make him say those words aloud? She had transmuted his emotions against his will, reaching long coils into his inner being, coaxing from his bitter hatred this feeling of… protectiveness…

After homeroom, there was a special assembly.

It was not until he was seated that Kuno realized it was a speech contest and not until she was called to the stage that he learned Nabiki Tendo was one of the contestants. His insides stiffened up. At the podium Nabiki adjusted her microphone.

"My Challenge," she read.

Her eyes, piercing the crowd, locked onto his for a moment and one moment only.

"Lately," Nabiki said, "there are a lot of things being said about my relationship with Tatewaki Kuno. And I would just like to clear it up. We have only ever been friends. At least, that's how I've always perceived it. But I can't say I understand his sudden change in attitude towards me. He claims to hate me, but he also says he doesn't want any guy in school to date me. In fact, I can't so much as wear a new dress without causing him to have a fit.

"Well, Kuno-baby, I hate to break it to you, but I'm not yours to control. You say you'll beat up any boy who tries to take me out on a date. Well, here and now, I'm issuing a challenge to all the guys at Furinkan: fight back! If you want to date me, defeat Tatewaki Kuno in combat. In fact, I promise you, I will go on a date with any guy in school who can beat Kuno for me."

Nabiki smiled. "And after our date," she said. "I'll do… anything."

The wave of battle energy that instantly crashed upon him from all directions was nothing—a tickle—compared to Nabiki's last word. _Anything_? Did she hate him so much, with such an icy fury that to see him destroyed, she would risk her own virtue, let some hungry wolf press up against her, pawing and sniffing at her? "_Anything_." Kuno trembled as Nabiki sat down besides him, and when she smiled triumphantly, the rage that welled up within him nearly made him sick.

"Nabiki Tendo, what have you done? Have you no modesty, no maiden shame, no touch of bashfulness? To promise to some strange man that you'll… you'll…"

"Why, what are you thinking?" she said. "I only meant a hug or a kiss on the cheek."

"Then you should not have promised _anything_!"

"I'm so glad you care about me so much," Nabiki said. "But don't worry. There is one little stipulation. He has to defeat you first."

Her eyes were sparkling, laughing at him.

"You expect me to fight for your honor?" Kuno said. "For you! My most despised enemy. I shall not! I will not do it, Nabiki Tendo."

"Why, Kuno-baby," Nabiki said softly. "You'd let one of those perverted boys do… anything… to me."

Kuno winced as the image returned, the wolf slavering as he groped for the zipper of Nabiki's dress… No! It was another trick, a spell. He would not be manipulated by her! Let her deal with the consequences herself, let her suffer her own fate, let her try and push the wolf away saying, "No, stop, I didn't mean for this." And the wolf laughed as he pulled the zipper down with such violence it tore the fabric of her dress. "_Anything_." Fear filled her eyes, and the wolf lunged, forcing her small body down upon the bed…

"I suggest you get to school early," Nabiki said. "So that when your path is blocked by a couple hundred opponents, you won't be late for classes. And, oh, by the way. This is revenge for my sister."

………

**Author's Note**: Well, there goes my Golden Week. I devoted four days of my five day weekend almost entirely to writing and rewriting this chapter. I hope you like it. I do. :) By the way, Kuno's line, "Have you no modesty, no maiden shame, no touch of bashfulness?" is actually from A Midsummer Night's Dream. I always wanted to make him quote Shakespeare.


	5. 4: The Champion

**I Want a Refund!**

**Chapter 4: The Champion**

………

………

Nabiki hummed as she stepped into school. It was a beautiful morning. Blue skies. White clouds. Fifteen boys from the judo club rushing Kuno from all directions as they screamed at the top of their lungs. Nabiki leaned against the gate. Yep, she had a feeling this was going to be the start of a wonderful day.

Kuno charged. His sword hit the first of his opponents—crack—and he spun into the ones coming at him from the side. He knocked them down, but more came at him from behind, out of the range of his sword. Kuno pivoted and bodies flew around him. Spin, strike, spin, strike, spin, strike. It was like watching a top careen out of control. The last of the judo team crashed to the ground like bowling pins, and Kuno stood alone.

He leaned onto his kendo stick and gasped for breath. Sweat dripped off his hair, slid down the side of his red face, and soaked into his kendo shirt. Nabiki smiled. This probably wasn't the first club he'd fought today. And judging by the boys gathering to the side of the gate, it wouldn't be his last.

"Tired already? It's not even 8:00."

"Nabiki Tendo!" His eyes flashed at her.

"Volleyball team to your left," she said.

He turned. Too late. A tan-colored ball hit him smack in the face. Kuno looked dazed for a moment, then shook it off. A volley was coming, a hailstorm of tan and grey balls. Kuno lifted up his wooden sword.

"Cowards!" he cried, running towards them. "Face me like men!"

Amusing as it was to watch him fight, Nabiki had business to take care of. She stepped over to where the moaning judo fighters were picking themselves off the dirt. Mostly large boys with round faces, they blinked up at her, owlishly, when she squatted down beside to them.

"Hi," Nabiki said. "It was a good try, but you can't bring down Kuno that way. You need a special move. A finishing move. A move used by Ranma Saotome himself."

She opened her book bag. The scrolls she'd gotten off Genma were impressive all right, written on old paper, with gold ribbon laced around them. Nabiki held them out with both hands like they were the source of unspeakable power.

"Howl of the Demon Dog. Crouch of the Wild Tiger. The Saotome Secret Technique." The judo boys gaped in awe. "These are official attacks from the School of Anything Goes Martial Arts. Ranma would kill me if he knew I was selling them, but for you, I'll let them go for only 3000 yen each."

"Traitor!"

Nabiki glanced over her shoulder. Kuno stood over the rubble of what had been volleyball team, their balls punctured and deflated around them. His kendo stick was pointed at her, but Kuno would have looked more intimidating if he hadn't been panting so hard.

"You dare… sell things… in my presence… Nabiki Tendo…"

With his eyes locked on her, there was no way he could see members of the tennis team crawling up the wall just behind him, raising their net right over his head. Nabiki flipped her hair.

"What are you going to do about it?" she said. "Watch out for the ambush."

"Ambush?"

The net fell. Kuno had half a second to look surprised before the tennis team, yowling jubilantly, sprang over the wall, rackets in hand. Nabiki turned back to her customers.

"So, Saotome scrolls," she said. "Who's buying?"

Sales were brisk. When Nabiki finished with the judo club, she walked to the volleyball team and sold them "special strength-enhancing herbal medicine from China" (tea leaves ground together with cocoa powder) that she swore Ranma took every day to power himself up. Then, she hopped three steps over to the smoldering ruins of the tennis team and sold them first aid kits.

By now, a loud clicketty-clack rang throughout the schoolyard. Kuno, with pieces of the tennis net still stuck to his head, was going at it with both the baseball team and his own kendo team in the battle of wooden sticks. Bats and swords snapped in half and flew through the air. Kuno blew through the crowd like a cannon ball, but more guys kept coming up from behind and chasing him.

It occurred to Nabiki that Kuno's fighting style wasn't really suited for ambushes. Whereas her sister could kick or grab people coming at her at all directions, Kuno fought with a sword. He could tear apart anything in his path, but attack him from behind and he was helpless. The boys all knew it too. They howled and raised their bats up to the back of his head. Kuno swirled around, fast as a bullet, and knocked his would-be assailants to the floor. More came, always from behind. Swirl, twist, dodge, run—no wonder he was tired.

"Wow, they're really giving it to him."

Nabiki turned. Ranma and Akane had just walked in through the gate.

"Yeah, he's on his fifth club that I've counted," Nabiki said.

"Never thought I'd feel sorry for Kuno," Ranma said, with a chuckle.

"He can handle it," Akane said unsympathetically.

"Even the archery club?"

Eight archers, in their traditional Japanese dress, marched to the battlefield, accompanied by a taiko drummer. Boom boom, boom boom. Kuno's head glanced in their direction, but he was still tangled up with the baseball team. The archers stretched out their bows and sent arrows flying.

"He'll be fine," Nabiki said.

"I don't know," Ranma said. "It is Kuno. One good whack on the head, and he's out cold." He stuck his hands under the back of his head, elbows jutting out. "I suppose I'd better go defeat him myself, just in case."

Nabiki smirked. "Why Ranma, I didn't know you wanted to date me so badly."

"I don't want to—OW!"

Akane creamed him with her book bag.

"You would date my own sister. Right in front of me."

"That's not what I meant."

"Maybe he just wants _anything_," Nabiki suggested.

"Why would I want—OW! Akane, stop it." Ranma grabbed Akane's hand before she could hit him again. "I'm just trying to make sure Nabiki doesn't get hurt. She's your sister, after all, don't you care."

"Of course, I do," Akane said, cheeks pink. "But do you know how it makes me feel, to think of you doing…_anything_…to my sister."

"I don't want to do _anything _to her," Ranma said.

"But if you do defeat Kuno, the whole school will think you're cheating on Akane," Nabiki said. "Is that what you want, Ranma? I mean, far be it from me to break up your marriage."

"Break up my—look, Nabiki, all I was trying to do was—"

"Interfere. I told you, this is my fight. Besides," Nabiki said, "Kuno's fending for himself just fine."

Kuno wacked away the last of the archers, and as they fell, the taiko drummer dropped his drum and ran screaming like a little girl. Arrows poked out of Kuno's sword like a pin cushion and one broken arrow hung from the loose folds of his sleeve. He looked at her darkly, as if to say, _I despise you, Nabiki Tendo_. To which, she just crossed her arms. _Good_. That was the point.

But Kuno really needed to pay attention to what was going on around him. That precious second spent scowling at her kept him from seeing the swimming team creep up beside him with a giant fire hose. Sploosh. A burst of water flushed Kuno clear to the other side of the schoolyard.

Ranma shook his head. "Oh man."

"Well, money calls," Nabiki said. "See you two around."

It took her only fifteen minutes to completely sell out of merchandise. So, that was that for today. Nabiki snapped her book bag shut and hoisted it onto her shoulder. It was much lighter now and the coins inside jangled nicely. The first bell rang; five minutes until homeroom began. All around her, the defeated were crawling slug-like to their classes.

And then, there was the champion.

Kuno hobbled on his broken kendo stick like a cane. Half of shirt had been torn off and was dragging in the dirt. Scratches ran up and down his chest and his one bare arm. Water still dripped from his clothes, and his fine crop of hair, which he was so proud of, stuck up at funny angles. Nabiki shook her head. What a mess.

"Had enough yet, Kuno-baby?" she said.

"I… still… stand…"

"Barely. They're not going to stop, you know. Today, tomorrow, the next day. During passing period, at lunch, after school. You won't get a moment's rest. But I can put an end to it." She held out her palm. "Just pay me 5,000 yen."

His eyes became as hard as flint.

"Never."

Stubborn. She closed up her hand.

"Suit yourself," she said. "But my price goes up every day you wait. Don't be late for class, Kuno-baby."

She turned on her heel, her hair swishing behind her, and left Kuno to limp to homeroom as best he could. She'd offered him a way out, which was more than he'd ever given her sister. If he wanted be stubborn, if he wanted to drag this out, that was his problem. She heard him trudging along behind her, still breathing hard, and for a moment, Nabiki almost looked back. But she kept her eyes on the school building and continued forward.

………

Nabiki Tendo was insufferable.

Her fingers plucked the last piece of a covert chocolate éclair from its bag and brought it stealthily to her lips. Kuno closed his eyes. That she, who had done nothing this morning, should eat, while he, who had fought an army on her behalf, should be forced to lie here on his desk and listen to the soft roar of his stomach, like the sound of the tide as it rose and fell. Insufferable.

Fourth period was by far the most dull and tedious class in his schedule. The teacher droned on about the gross nature of domestic products and how some sides were demanding and some sides were supplying. And all the while, the minutes ticked by like the tiptoeing steps of eternity, like an ant crawling up the stem of a flower. Or perhaps crawling over the remains of his lunch. Once lovingly prepared, his lunch ended up smashed and disfigured on the school grounds, a sorrowful accident of this morning's fight. Kuno had not eaten since five in the morning. His two earlier attempts to procure nourishment had failed, not by any one man but a mob of them, who had trapped him in the purgatory of the halls.

Kuno opened his eyes in time to see Nabiki lick the last of the chocolate off her fingers and take out a notebook. Truly insufferable. Were she a normal human girl, rather than an ogre wearing the skin of one, she might have looked on him with some pity, with some compassion. She might have looked on him at all. How could she ignore him so completely to listen to the teacher's chatter of goods and services, of markets and utility costs? How could the blackboard with these endless diagonal lines cast a fire in her eyes, a look brighter and purer than any she had given him?

At last, the bell rang. Kuno rose stiffly with the rest of the students to pay his respects to the teacher. The dreaded class was at an end, and Kuno felt a new energy stirring within him, as cool and as crisp as a gust of wind in the still-dark morning.

The teacher left the room.

With a roar, the boys pounced on him, tigers lying in wait, and Kuno lifted his sword and struck at those closest to him; they fell, and Kuno twisted, girls screaming to get out of the way, struck again, crashed over desks, a blizzard of paper flying around him, and sprang into the hallway. Bowling balls, rumbling like thunder, glided over the polished floor of the halls. Kuno leapt over some, batted away others, and fell headlong into a wall of screaming boys, swinging his sword like an axe. Strike, strike, strike! He was a blur.

It was an epic battle, one fought for every inch: every inch down the halls, every inch down the booby-trapped stairs, every inch down the path to the school lunch stand, where he could at last claim his prize. Kuno was a samurai facing down a hoard of rude barbarians. Now, he was protecting the innocent bystanding maiden, a girl standing in front of him in line, who glared every time he bumped into her. Now, he was fighting his foes one-handed, taking out his wallet with the other and slapping down a 1000 yen bill. Now, he was holding his precious treasure, his lunch, to his chest, as he stormed his way back to homeroom class. Villains lie in wait there to ambush him, but he defeated them soundly, threw them out, and barricaded the doors shut.

What should be the reward of labors such as these? Why, only that the eyes of a beautiful maiden should gaze into his with the soft expression of unadulterated love. That would have so contented him. Instead, Nabiki Tendo barely deigned glance up at him as he entered, the look on her face one nock higher than indifference.

"Oh, you're back," she said.

_Yes, Nabiki Tendo. Though you may set all the dogs of hell on me. I have indeed returned, triumphant_. So he would have replied, had he the breath to say it.

Nabiki turned back to her desk, ran her fingers through a stack of bills, and made a note in her black book. Apparently, money held her attention far longer than he did.

Kuno sat in his desk and opened his lunch box. If he got no reward from Nabiki, he would at least have his meal. Despite his travails, his lunch was immaculate. The rice sparkled, the sesame seeds twinkled, and the red pickled plum in the center all but glowed. It was as though it had been sprayed by a thin layer of water. Or perhaps some other liquid? Kuno lowered his head and sniffed his food. A faint odor, as sickly-sweet as bug spray, emanated from his meal.

"Bah." Kuno stood up and threw his lunch in the trash.

"What's the matter?" Nabiki said.

"Fools who wish to poison me should choose their potions better," he said. "After living with my sister, do they think I'm unaware of the more obvious knock-out drugs?"

"Hm," Nabiki said. She looked at the clock. "So what are you going to do? Lunch is over in five minutes."

"Then it appears I will starve," Kuno said.

He balled his fingers into his thighs. So be it. If he must suffer, he would do it as a true warrior with a measure of grace and quiet dignity. His stomach growled immediately, as though to contradict him. Apparently, his body would do battle with his spirit, for suddenly his hunger returned with twice its original force. Kuno curled his hands deeper into his legs. He would not be broken by this, no matter how much his stomach protested, how it ached or churned. Even though it flooded him with nausea, he would not give in.

There was a light thud. A riceball sat on his desk.

"Kasumi packed me extra," Nabiki said.

"Nabiki Tendo," Kuno said. "You wish to poison me too?"

"No silly. You're fighting for me, after all. If you lose, I'm the one who has to go out with whatever horny boy wins." She shrugged. "It's the least I can do."

"Your words do make some degree of sense," he said slowly. He paused. "You give this to me freely? Know that I will not pay you."

"If I were selling it to you, I would tell you my price up front."

"Very well then. I will accept this."

Kuno removed the saran wrap and sniffed it just to be sure, but he could sense no suspicious odors. Cautiously, he took a bite. A delicious savory flavor welled up in his mouth; there was some kind of saucy meat in the center. He eagerly took another bite and then another. Soon, the riceball was gone. His hunger somewhat assuaged, Kuno wiped the sauce off his mouth with the back of his hand.

Laughter. Kuno froze. Nabiki was staring right at him. She leaned on one hand, a sparkle in her eyes, her lips pressed into a crooked smile.

It was a trap! Kuno's body stiffened immediately. Of course. How had he not seen it before. This was Nabiki Tendo and she would give nothing away, no matter how small the trinket, unless it were some insidious plot to destroy him. He had not sensed the poison because she was too clever to use anything but the most subtle chemicals. It might even be time-delayed, but sooner or later, the effects would hit him, a numbness in his body or the blackening of his vision…

And yet, nothing happened.

"Relax, Kuno-baby," Nabiki said. "It's just a normal riceball."

She opened a packet of two souvenir rice crackers, took out one for herself, and offered him the other.

"Want one?"

"Er," he said. "Yes. Uh, thank you, Nabiki Tendo."

………

Kuno had no idea how funny he was. Every day at lunch, he was an absolute mess: face red, hair crooked, shirt ripped and untucked. And every time, without fail, he glided into the seat next to her with his back straight and his head held high as though he were clean and well-dressed and had just checked his hair in the mirror not five minutes ago. Nabiki had to cover her mouth to keep from laughing.

She split her lunch with him, and he usually took his half without saying much. Though she did catch him staring at her. A lot. Kuno was just so obvious and so obviously perplexed, wrinkling his brow as though she were a puzzle he couldn't solve. Nabiki watched him back, out of the corner of her eye, while she flipped through her account book or counted out 1000 yen bills, but he never seemed to notice.

Much as she enjoyed these little lunch-time truces, they couldn't last forever. Today, school ended early due to some parent teacher conferences. The final bell rang at 12:10. As students poured out of the room, Nabiki stretched and looked out the window. Clouds, clouds, and more clouds. The weather forecast said showers in the afternoon. Good thing she was going home before then.

Soon the room was empty, and Nabiki was left alone with Kuno. Since teachers started cracking down on fights in the classroom, he was usually the last to leave. He sat at his desk and listlessly shuffled papers in and out of his book bag. The fights were beginning to wear him out, she suspected.

"You have kendo practice after school today, don't you?" Nabiki said.

"I practice everyday, Nabiki Tendo," he said. "No perfection can be reached without it."

"Yeah, I thought so. I'm walking back with my sister. Here." She put her boxed lunch on his desk. "I'll get something to eat at home."

Kuno stared at it.

"Why do you hate me so much?" he said.

"You really need to distinguish between emotions, Kuno-baby."

"You have been giving me part of your lunch all week," he said. "And now this. You give nothing without asking some price, so tell me—what is your motive? What do you wish of me?"

Nabiki shrugged. "I don't want you to starve."

"If only I could believe it were so simple," Kuno said. "But I know your true nature, Nabiki Tendo. You are scheming against me and I would know what it is."

Oh, good grief. "I'm not scheming anything."

Kuno slouched.

Nabiki put her hand on the edge of his desk and leaned over.

"I don't need to," she said. "I've already won."

"Won?" Kuno said. "But I am undefeated."

"You remember your challenge to me, Kuno-baby?" she said. "You said that until I refunded your pictures, you were going to stop me from making money."

"Yes, I suppose those were my words. But I do not see how—" He stopped.

"For the last week," Nabiki said, "not only have I made money, I've raked in more cash than I would in any given month. Usually with you standing only a few feet away. You can't stop me. Your threat is null and void."

"Then why do you hate me Nabiki?" He looked at her like a lost child, hopelessly bewildered. "Why do you plot to destroy me?"

"I'm not plotting to destroy you; that's what I'm trying to tell you," she said. "I don't hate you."

"So you are in love with me?"

"I'm—_what_?"

Kuno sprang out of his desk, the chair clattering to the ground below, and scooped up her hands. Nabiki felt her ears grow hot. Doltish infatuation poured from Kuno's eyes, that brain-dead look of desire that Nabiki didn't want to see.

"Nabiki Tendo, to think that I would hear you admit—"

"I am not in love with you," she said, ripping her hands out of his. "How on earth did you get that stupid idea into your head?"

"You have brought me lunch. You have asked me to walk you home. Even the method in which you 'won' is a way in which you pursue me, forcing me to do battle for your hand."

"I—" She crossed her arms. " 'The method in which I won' was my way of showing you how much you hurt my little sister. I thought even you would get that."

"Hurt her? I never hurt Akane," Kuno said. "Indeed, I made it a point not to unleash my full strength upon her, and though we fought many times, you may rest assured she was never harmed."

"That's not what I meant," Nabiki said. "You were the one who made her angry all the time. Akane always had a temper, but she was never like that, she never hated men so much, until you set the whole school on her."

"You are mistaken," he said. "Akane was a true warrior and remains so to this day. Our courtship, nay our love, was that of warriors, and even as we met blow for blow, our hearts exchanged vows, the spirit of battle moving through us, which is something you perhaps cannot understand."

Geez, he was acting like he was still half in love with her. Nabiki curled her hands into fists, nails biting into palms.

"Tell me something, Kuno-baby. Do you enjoy having to fight the whole school on my behalf?"

Kuno paused. "The method which you court me is rather rougher than I had expected—"

"Do you enjoy it?"

"Perhaps I would not mind so much, Nabiki Tendo," Kuno said, anger rising in his voice, "if I simply understood your feelings for me."

"You've got to be kidding me," Nabiki said. "There's no way you could enjoy it. Getting mobbed by perverts, day after day, hour upon hour. And for what? A stupid challenge from some girl you don't even like."

"Some girl I don't like? You think I do not like you? Or, indeed, that you are a mere 'some girl' to me?" Kuno said. "How can you be some girl when thoughts of you rage in my head day and night, giving me no peace? Or when your every word and gesture has the power to turn my feelings upside down? I have known you for six years, Nabiki. How can you think that you are insignificant to me?"

Nabiki's heart thudded in her chest. What was this? He was supposed to hate her, not—like her? Did he really just say he liked her? Suddenly Nabiki's face felt hot and her palms got all sweaty. Stupid. She didn't want this to happen. Kuno wasn't supposed to feel… whatever this was… towards her.

And now he studied her again. Eyes soft, hands creeping towards hers. No. Nabiki pulled away. Kuno's eyes grew stormy, and his jaw tightened. He slapped both hands on his desk and thrust himself forward until his face was inches from hers.

"What am I to you, Nabiki? Why will you not tell me? You are not like other girls. I cannot make you out. You are more maddening than the mosquitoes of August. More intriguing than the fireflies of May. You are a riddle, and I shall not rest until I have the answer."

"What's going on here?"

Akane stood at the doorway.

"Akane Saotome, how nice of you to stop by," Kuno said.

"Yes," Nabiki said, heart still in her throat. "How nice."

She shook herself. What was she doing? Standing here speechless, like a stupid girl from a cheap T.V. drama. She wasn't going to let him get the better of her. Who was in control of this scheme anyway?

"Actually, Akane, you came in at a good time. Maybe you can settle something for us," Nabiki said. "Kuno-baby thinks you had feelings for him, back when he had the whole school fighting you. Did you?"

Akane's face grew dark. "No."

"Do not fear Akane," Kuno said, "for though Nabiki wishes to twist our pure and noble love, I shall not believe her words, but will hold the memory of our courtship like a candle to the dark."

"You still don't get it," Nabiki said. "Even after she told you to your face. And you want me to tell you how I feel about you? Get real. If you can't understand my sister's feelings, why the hell should I tell you mine?"

Kuno blinked.

She turned. "Let's go, Akane. Enjoy your lunch, Kuno-baby."

Nabiki walked out of the room, her sister following. A mob of guys jammed the hallway, weapons in hand. She didn't care. So what if he got hurt. She squeezed through the crowd. Outside, storm clouds packed the sky, and humidity clung to the air. It must have been the humidity that made it harder for her to breathe. It was not because of him.

"What was that about?" Akane said.

"Nothing."

"Was he bothering you in there? If he tries anything—"

"He's harmless. Just drop it, okay."

Akane gave her an odd look. Nabiki glanced back at the window of her homeroom class. Kuno stood looking at her. The glass blurred the features of his face. Nabiki couldn't read his expression at all.

………

_To understand Nabiki Tendo is to try and pluck a butterfly from the sky with both hands shut. It cannot be done. Or no—a butterfly is too gentle a metaphor for her. It is throwing a net into a hurricane and expecting to catch fish. It is watering rocks in the hopes that they bloom into lilies. How can she, in one breath, deny that she hates me, and in the next, deny that she loves me? It is like trying to hold—_

Kuno flipped over the page only to find blots of black ink defiled the back of the paper. He had been pressing down so hard on his calligraphy pen that it had soaked right through. This, too, was Nabiki's fault. Even his refined penmanship transformed into a dark mess when he thought of her.

—_Like holding an ice sculpture to my chest and watching it melt into water_, he resumed on the next page._ Or waltzing in a fire and seeing myself reduced to ash. Neither love nor hate? What then is left? And she has sworn she will not tell me until I can guess at the feelings of her sister. But what is there to understand? Once we were in love and now we are not. For what reason, then, does she keep bringing it up? What is this strange connection between my courtship of Akane and Nabiki's feelings for me? _

After that, he could think of nothing more to write, so he put away his diary and turned off the lights. Rain pattered on the roof, rat-tat-tat-tat, and the low percussion of thunder moved in and mixed with it. The wind crooned a lullaby. And still he could not sleep. He saw her face in the cracks of the ceiling; the flash of lightning, the angry glimmer in her eye. Nabiki. _If you can't understand my sister's feelings, why the hell should I tell you mine?_

He got out of bed and turned on the lights. Was he not Tatewaki Kuno? Was he not a great warrior and a great lover? Should he simply lie here and let her haunt him like some wayward ghost? No. He opened his closet where diaries lined the shelf in a neat row. He counted backwards with his fingers—winter, fall, summer—here it was, spring, his junior year. The first time he met Akane. This was where all Nabiki's codes led. This was where he would find his answer.

He opened his old diary.

_She was as lovely as a flower, the way she twirled and spun, her green dress flaring around her like the opening of petals. My sweet Akane Tendo. Soon, I shall hold you close to me._

_These dull and tedious boys who would have your hand, how I laugh as they fill the schoolyard to chase you. You are a worthy prize and yet few are worthy of you. I love to watch you as you do battle with them, the way you toss them aside, how your skin glows and your hair twists in the wind._

Memories rushed back. Once more Kuno stood in the schoolyard, fingers twined around the stem of a single red rose, and watched Akane spring forward to meet the torrent of boys. They crashed together. The boys poured at her from either side and flooded her from behind. The cowards. He could see now their snarling faces and their grasping hands, hear their incessant screams as loud as the clashing of cymbals. And even after they fell silent, there was still one left, the last one, and she stood at a safe distant, with her arms crossed, and a smug expression on her face. Nabiki Tendo.

Nabiki?

Kuno blinked. Surely, that wasn't how Akane saw him. He was not at all like Nabiki. He flipped backwards a few pages until the words speech contest caught his eye.

_Today, at the speech contest, I have proclaimed my challenge to the school. The response has pleased me. The pretenders who would date Akane are many, and at my announcement, their battle aura rose as swiftly as a summer storm. Yet who among this pitiful lot can hope to defeat her? I remember how she sat with her eyes burning like two coals and her perfect lips pressed tightly together. She is eager for the battle, I can tell. _

Eager? Many emotions had assaulted Kuno after Nabiki's speech, but eagerness had not been one of them. Lightning split through the electricity, a momentary twitch in the lights. Kuno rubbed his eyes. The situation was completely different, of course. Unlike Nabiki, his motives had been pure. While subjecting the woman he loved to the violent attack of hundreds of lust-driven boys did, in hindsight, seem a bit cruel, at the time his purpose had merely been to—merely been to—

What was it again? He turned to the previous page.

_Once again, I have asked the fair Akane Tendo to date with me, and once again she has refused. This time, rather than just say no, she has slapped me—the first time we have ever touched. How sweet a touch, how great a treasure she has bestowed on me. For in that gesture she has shown me what I must do to make her mine._

_Flowers shall not win her, nor will sweet words. She is a warrior, as am I, and that is why our souls are destined to be knit together. I see now that she despises weakness and that she does not yet know me to be her equal. So I will woo her in battle. Only then shall her gaze soften toward me, her eyes fill with love. _

_And this plain truth I will announce before the school: that none shall date Akane who cannot defeat her. Indeed, let the entire school fight her, for these boys are all weak and shall only serve to illuminate, by contrast, my own great power. Their strength will be to mine as a trickle of a stream is to the bursting of a dam. I will show her: _

_"I am as peremptory as she proud-minded;  
"And where two raging fires meet together  
"They do consume the thing that feeds their fury:  
"Though little fire grows great with little wind,  
"Yet extreme gusts will blow out fire and all:  
"So I to her and so she yields to me;  
"For I am rough and woo not like a babe."_

Were those cold words, so pristinely writ upon the page, really his? Had he sat in this very room in the dark of night and conspired with his diary to make Akane love him? Make her love him… But then it followed that she did not love him, not immediately. Not until…

When exactly? When had her eyes ever grown soft with love? A dozen times, a hundred times, Akane had struck him, kicked him, slapped him—but never once had she accepted a date with him. Never once had she given him some small trinket of affection. Or even started a conversation with him. Nabiki had done that much, but Akane, once the love of his life, couldn't bring herself to speak to him?

A soft thump. The diary had slipped from his fingers and landed on the floor. The cover spread open, the pages crinkled beneath. As Kuno picked it up, a single photograph fluttered out and settled on the floor. The final piece of the puzzle. He knelt down to look at it.

It was a photograph of Akane. Her long hair, held back by a single red ribbon, hung in the air like a frozen waterfall. Her fists were driven deep into a block of concrete. But starkest of all was the expression on her face. Akane's mouth was bared, showing white teeth, and her eyes pierced the concrete block like so many spears. Always he had admired her fierceness and warrior's strength, but it was only now, after all these months, that he finally saw what was so painfully obvious. Akane was angry.

_You were the one who made her angry._

A red-hot iron landed on his shoulders, a weight that pressed onto his back and made him droop. He had made her angry? He had hurt Akane? But how could she love him if he had hurt her? Nabiki had asked her if she had loved him just this afternoon and she had answered—No. She had said no! Kuno felt as though he were sitting upon air and breathing dirt. Akane had not loved him. Akane…despised him?

Fingers trembling, Kuno reached for the photograph. No, it could not be that she despised him, for look, here was a token of her love. If Akane hated him and he had her picture then what was he but some—he swallowed—pervert, leering at her from behind closed doors. And he was not a pervert. The back of his ears burned. He could not be a pervert, not he, Tatewaki Kuno, warrior, poet, descendent of an ancient line.

Kuno held the picture to his eyes, but no longer did he see Akane. Only the shadow of Nabiki, slapping the photographs down on the desk: set of five, 3000 yen. He could recall with vivid clarity the scorn in her eyes, barely concealed. Had she thought of him then as something grotesque, akin to an insect that had leeched itself to her sister?

"You knew," he said. "You knew she did not love me. Why did you never tell me, Nabiki? Why, instead, sell me such emblems as could only enflame my affection and encourage this perverse and ignoble behavior?"

Nabiki smirked. _Why? Well, to make money of course._

Outside, the wind howled. Rain threw itself against the window, rapping on the glass like a beast trying to get in. Thunder rattled the house to its foundations. Kuno sat still upon the floor, his own body no less shaken by the quick and violent pulsing of his heart.

To make money. Of course. Nothing could be simpler. This was Nabiki Tendo. This was what she wanted him to see. That he was nothing to her, nothing but a foolish heart and a fat wallet, less than a cow to be milked or a rag to be wrung dry, tossed aside, and wrung again. And truly, he did not care how much of his money she took, for what was money to him but some strips of paper garnished with faces of men long deceased. But to play with his emotions like this—he clenched his fists—to make a fool out of him with Ranma, to encourage false love for Akane, and now to torture him with all these vague hints that she herself might actually like him…

"I will not accept this, Nabiki Tendo," he said. "You have shattered my heart for the last time. Your treachery shall be my lessons. The villainy you teach me, I will execute, and it shall go hard. This is not over. It shall never be over, Nabiki, until your heart bleeds as mine does."

In his ears, the storm raged on, the voices of a thousand demons crying out.

………

Rain drizzled from the sky and pattered on Nabiki's umbrella as she walked to school. Okay, so maybe, maybe, that tiny insignificant crush she'd had on Kuno in junior high had reopened. Nabiki kicked a rock into a puddle. Big deal. It didn't mean she had to act on it. She had no intention of becoming the next pigtailed girl or Akane Tendo.

Nabiki came to the school gate and took a deep breath. Nothing had changed. Nothing whatsoever.

The schoolyard was empty. Rain dripped onto broken weapons and the bodies of wounded male students, still twitching in the mud. Their clothes hung in shreds. A few whimpered softly, but most were unconscious. Nabiki felt a pinching in her stomach. What was going on here? Where was Kuno?

She followed the trail of bodies to the woods behind the school, where a crowd had already gathered. She heard war cries from deep within. They cut off abruptly. Toward the back of the crowd, girls whispered.

"…never seen him like this."

"It is Kuno, right?"

"But it's like he's been possessed…"

They stopped as they saw her.

"Something wrong with Kuno?" Nabiki said.

Instead of answering, they stepped to the side and made a path for her.

Kuno stood dead center of the crowd, his wooden sword parallel to the ground and a sizable ring of fallen bodies at his feet. Battle aura rolled off him, and not his garden variety either. This one she could feel pushing up against her like a magnetic pulse. Kuno's kendo uniform stuck wetly to his skin, outlining tense muscles, and rain dripped off his hair. His eyes were dark and focused.

"Does anyone else wish to challenge my prowess?" he said.

A bunch of brave, stupid boys in the front gave a yell and ran forward. Kuno swung his sword. CRACK. Nabiki could have sworn she saw the rain drops quiver in midair. The boys dropped to the ground like swatted flies. Kuno's sword hadn't even touched them.

Kuno calmly moved back into neutral position, and as he did, his eyes glanced in her direction.

"I see you have arrived, Nabiki Tendo," he said.

"Yep," she said. "In a bad mood today, Kuno-baby?"

He laughed. "Why would I be in a bad mood? Today is the day I win your challenge."

"Really?"

"Behold."

Kuno walked up to a tall cedar tree and swung his sword upward. There was a swooping sound and a smack. For a moment, Kuno's face strained. Then his sword—his wooden sword—sliced clean through. The branches rustled in the rain, but the tree stood rooted through the ground—with a bright new slash running diagonal through the trunk.

"Where is your champion Nabiki?" Kuno said. "Who here can face me?"

He glared darkly at his would-be attackers in their various club uniforms with their many weapons in hand. They looked like they'd just swallowed glass. Nabiki felt their battle aura leak right out of them. Interesting. If they refused to fight, Nabiki's challenge would be void—that was probably what Kuno was hoping for. But why did he suddenly want to beat her now? Why the change in attitude?

"No man dares face me alone," Kuno continued. "So what do you hope to accomplish by mobbing me every morning? Even if by some lucky stroke you did fell me, do you think it would end there? Never! I would follow you to the gates of hell before I would allow you to set one finger on Nabiki!"

The crowd broke into a frenzy of whispers. Nabiki felt her face go red. Did that idiot have any idea how he sounded? No, of course not. His eyes locked onto hers, and they were unmistakably smug.

"Nabiki Tendo, I have defeated you," Kuno said.

WHAM.

The tree he'd cut in half crashed on his head and knocked him out cold.

Silence.

The entire crowd broke into wild applause. Nabiki had about half a second to think why. Kuno declared himself champion right before the tree fell on him, the tree he himself had just cut in half and—oh no, there was no way they thought—

Flash. A camera went off in her face.

"Nabiki, Tatewaki Kuno has just won the right to date you. Tell us how you must be feeling now."

"You've got to be joking."

In front of her, guys shook their heads and gossiped to themselves.

"I guess he really wanted to date her."

"Or maybe just do _anything_ to her."

"Kuno always was the king of the perverts."

Oh, this was great. Nabiki pushed her way through them. She had to get to Kuno, see if he was all right, and then tell him she was not going out with him. Flash. Flash. That annoying photographer followed her. One tiny freshman girl with a pad of paper and huge glasses falling off her nose somehow slipped in front of her and blocked Nabiki's way.

"Nabiki, now that Tatewaki Kuno can do _anything _to you, tell us, are you terrified?"

"No," she said, going around. As if he could ever terrify her.

The girl with glasses persisted. "But what perverted thing do you think he'll ask you to do?"

"He's not going to ask me to do anything."

"You really trust him that much? Is it true, then, that your feelings towards Kuno have changed and that you now want to date him?"

Nabiki stopped.

"Are you crazy?" she said. "I don't want to date him. I'm not going out with him. This was all just a stupid mistake. No one was ever supposed to win."

The crowd suddenly became quiet.

"Then you never had any intention of keeping your promise," the girl said. "Your challenge to the school was nothing but a joke."

Nabiki felt herself get slammed by battle aura. Every guy in the crowd stared at her with murder in their eyes. Shit. It was one thing to have an unhappy customer or two, but half the school? That would be massacre for her business. Nabiki gritted her teeth. Her reputation was on the line. She had to go through with this.

"I keep my promises," Nabiki said. "I'll date him."

The energy eased.

Nabiki took a breath. Okay, so one date with Kuno wasn't going to kill her. Well, there was _anything_ attached to it, but she tried not to think about that.

Kuno was lying flat in the mud with the cedar's fern-like leaves spilling over his back. Members of his turncoat kendo club, now apparently loyal again, pushed the tree off him and rolled him over. Kuno's face, hair, and clothes were all squashed with mud and blades of grass stuck zigzag to his jaw like a grizzled beard. He blinked and sprang suddenly to his feet, swatting his sword in a dizzy loop-de-loop.

"Sneak up behind me! I will never surrender! I will…"

Whump. He fell over into the mud again.

Nabiki sighed. Yep, that was her champion all right.

"Okay, Kuno-baby," she said. "Let's get you to the school nurse."

Two kendo guys took him by the shoulders and hauled him to his feet. Nabiki held her umbrella over his head and led the way.

"Nabiki Tendo…" she heard him say. "What has happened?"

"Someone beat you."

"Someone… but who… who could have defeated me?"

"You did."

"I?"

"Apparently."

………

**Author's Note**: Sorry about the delay. This chapter was a lot of trouble to write, but I finally got it to where I'm happy with it. Am I still in character? Is it still funny? I've re-read this so many times, I really can't tell anymore.

By the way, the scrolls Nabiki sells in the beginning of the story are worthless. Howl of the Demon Dog is the move where you hurl insults at your opponent as you chicken out of a match. Crouch of the Wild Tiger consists of bowing down and apologizing. The Saotome Secret Technique is basically running away in the middle of the fight.

And more Shakespeare. The quote in Kuno's diary beginning with "I am as peremptory as she proud-minded…" is from The Taming of the Shrew. "The villainy you teach me, I will execute, and it shall go hard" is from The Merchant of Venice. Petruccio and Shylock—such splendid role models I've chosen for Kuno.

33


	6. 5: The Date

**I Want a Refund!**

**Chapter 5: The Date**

………

………

Two hours after he'd heard the news, her father still hadn't stopped crying. He wrung his hands and wailed to the ceiling as Kasumi came around and cleared the dinner dishes from the table.

"The horror, the tragedy of it all! To think that any man would have such a hold over you. Now your honor is at stake. Oh Nabiki, my poor daughter, my little girl."

Nabiki rolled her eyes. He acted as if she'd offered herself as a virgin sacrifice. Literally.

"It's just a date," she said.

"It's not just a date," Akane said, arms filled with armor. "You promised you'd do anything afterwards. _Anything_."

She dumped the armor with a crash right on top of the pile of jumbled weapons. A stray shin guard ricocheted off the string of the giant bow and went flying into the air. Genma, lying tummy-up on the tatami in his panda form, rolled over just in time to avoid getting hit. He gave an annoyed yowl.

"Okay," Akane said, sorting through the stack. "We have shields, helmets, swords, mallets…"

"Tell me those are for your challenge tomorrow," Nabiki said.

"These are for you. You need some protection from Kuno." Akane frowned. "I'm not sure it'll be enough, though."

"Oh Nabiki." Her father threw his arms around her and sobbed into her shoulder. "Try to be brave, my daughter. No matter what happens, we will always be here for you."

Nabiki stood up.

"This is ridiculous," she said. "I'm going to take a bath."

She walked into the hall and stooped through the drawers for a clean towel. Good grief, her family certainly knew how to overreact. You'd think she was dating some kind of violent rapist instead of just another horny high school boy.

Akane came up beside her. "Nabiki, you need to take this seriously," she said. "Ranma and I won't be around to protect you. You don't know how to fight, and Kuno's not—"

"Such lovely bras. Such pretty panties. All mine for the picking."

Happosai bounced past them, a thief's mask around his face.

"Old freak, get back here." Ranma chased him.

"He's not exactly shy," Akane finished.

Nabiki tucked the towel under her arm. "I've been on dates before. I know how to handle guys. In the first place, Kuno isn't going to ask for anything more than a kiss—we both know he doesn't have it in him. And if he does, I'll just tell him I'm an innocent girl and I don't want to be forced into things too soon. He'll back off."

"What if he doesn't?" Akane said.

"Then I'll bring out the big guns," Nabiki said. "I'll cry."

"Kuno isn't like normal guys. When he's after you, he doesn't give up. You need to be careful," Akane said. "He's craftier than he looks."

"Craftier than me?" Nabiki smiled. "Relax sis. I've been holding my own against him for six years, and I think I know how he works. I'm not completely defenseless, you know. I can take care of myself."

………

Sunlight poured into the open-armed petals of the daffodils, yellow as the walls of the store. Near them, striped carnations and many-colored snapdragons smiled up at him, tightly bunched together in their buckets of water. Always before, the sight of such flowers had filled Kuno with a giddy kind of hope: another day, another chance to woo the women that he loved. But this day was different. His eyes fell upon a vase holding a single regal tiger lily, perched precariously on the sill of the window.

"Nabiki Tendo," he said softly. "Today I will have you."

The elderly lady who ran the flower shop returned from the back room with a bouquet in hand.

"Here's your order," she said. "White chrysanthemums for truth. But I must say, Tatewaki dear, it's a strange request coming from you."

"I find myself in a strange situation," he said. "Once I thought I loved a maiden, and then I found myself deceived. Now I must date her sister."

The look of scorn in Nabiki's eyes flickered briefly in his mind.

"I will have the red roses as well," Kuno said.

The lady plucked a crimson bouquet from the shelf behind her.

"Red roses for love," she said.

"Love," Kuno mused. "A glorious thing indeed, to fill a man with such noble vigor and purpose of life." He shook his head. "But not this time. These roses shall serve only as a cloak to hide my intent, for she is in truth my enemy. Though I do hate her as I do hell-pains, yet, for necessity of present life, I must show out a flag and sign of love, which is indeed but sign."

"Would you like me to attach a bow?"

"A red one, please, to match the flowers."

He made his purchase and tucked the two bouquets into his picnic basket. It was now late in the morning, nearly 7:00, but the temperature remained cool and the weather was glorious. The blue skies were clear, as clear as the path set before him, as clear as his own thoughts and purposes. Kuno arrived at the Tendo residence and raised his hand to knock.

The door burst open with a bang. A figure spewing demonic battle aura stepped before him. This man wore an ancient costume of samurai armor and held a bow, arrow nocked, pointed at Kuno's face.

"Good morning, Mr. Tendo," Kuno said cheerfully. "I am here to pick up your daughter."

"Now hear this!" Mr. Tendo said. "I don't care what promise Nabiki has made, you will not take advantage of my little girl. If you hurt her, I will hunt you to the ends of the earth!"

"Such a devoted father," Kuno said. "But never fear for your daughter's safety. No harm shall come to her while I am around."

"Daddy, I'll be fine," Nabiki said, from somewhere within the house.

"Oh, Nabiki. My poor daughter."

Nabiki glided out from behind the now weeping Mr. Tendo. She carried a canvas bag on her shoulder and wore white shorts that revealed much of her long, lovely legs. Her striped yellow blouse cut just low enough to make him wonder at what was underneath.

"Hiya, Kuno-baby," Nabiki said. "Ready for our date."

A shiver broke through Kuno's perfect composure. He might have anticipated such tactics of seduction from her, she who knew well his weaknesses. He could not let his guard down.

"Good morning, Nabiki Tendo," he said cautiously. "I have brought you roses for our date."

"Thanks," Nabiki said. She nodded at his picnic basket. "What's with the other bouquet?"

"These?" Kuno glanced at the chrysanthemums. "These are for Akane."

Nabiki flinched. It was a subtle gesture, barely more than a twitch, but Kuno caught it, as well as the brief expression of hurt that rippled across her face. An instant later, Nabiki's visage became stony, and she tilted her head and crossed her arms in her more usual manner of cold contempt.

"You're not going to start up with that again are you?" she said.

"I have no desire to court your married sister, if that is what you mean," Kuno said. "I merely wish to apologize."

"You wish to what?"

"Apologize. I behaved quite rudely toward Akane last year, and I would like to make amends with her, if I may."

Nabiki stared. She took a step forward and put her hand across his forehead. The unexpected touch sent a shock through him, like an electric pulse running through his body.

"Na-Nabiki Tendo," Kuno said. "What are you—?"

"Well, you don't seem feverish to me," she said, withdrawing her hand. "But maybe we should take you to the hospital just to be sure."

"I am not sick," he said. "Is it so hard to believe that I have seen the error of my ways and wish to repent? Is Akane here or should I simply leave a note with the flowers?"

"She and Ranma are training," Nabiki said. "They have a challenge today. Some kind dojo destroyer. Follow me."

She motioned with a flick of her head.

The flush of a hearty workout cast a rosy hue on Akane's cheeks. In the backyard near the dojo, she dove at Ranma with fists raised, a lightning show of punches and kicks. Ranma in turn caught each blow, and the two swayed together, like ships at sea or partners in a dance. Akane Saotome was beautiful. But… that was all. Kuno felt within his chest a slight stirring of remorse—nothing else remained of his once boundless passion.

Nabiki cleared her throat, and Ranma and Akane stopped sparring.

"Oh, hi," Akane said. "Are you two leaving on your date?"

"In a minute," Nabiki said. "First Kuno has something he wants to tell you."

"Me?" Akane said.

Kuno plucked the bouquet from his picnic basket. "Akane Saotome," he said. "From the moment I saw you, I thought it our destiny to be together, two hearts beating as one. Alas, how the gods make sport of those who would declare their own fates."

"Oh, knock it off already, Kuno," Ranma said. "Akane's my wife, and if you think for one second I'm going to let you keep bothering her like this—"

"Actually, Ranma, you might want to listen," Nabiki said. "This should be good."

"Thank you, Nabiki Tendo," Kuno said.

Ranma's eye twitched. He put a hand protectively on Akane's shoulder, and she leaned into his touch, a flicker of a smile on her lips. Then her eyes moved to Kuno and she frowned.

"What do you want this time?" she said.

"I would have your forgiveness," Kuno said.

"What?"

"In my effort to win your love, I did not perceive your true feelings for me. As you doubtlessly suffered then for my lack of knowledge, so I do suffer now in my comprehension: that my behavior at that time towards one I claimed to love could be so deplorable and dishonorable. I wish to apologize."

"Uh…"

With a little bow, Kuno offered the chrysanthemums. "Akane Saotome, please accept these flowers as proof as my sincerest regret. I am sorry."

Akane glanced at Nabiki. "Is he serious?"

"I think so," she said.

"Will you accept this bouquet?" Kuno asked.

Akane stepped toward him, hands on hips. "I can't forget what you did to me. You were a real jerk, you know. But I guess I can forgive you—on one condition."

"What's that?" he said.

"Don't do the same thing to my sister."

_Ha. As if I should be so foolish as to fall in love with my sworn enemy_. So, he meant to say.

The red petals of his bouquet brushed softly against the pale skin of her chin. Nabiki Tendo, leaning against the dojo, cradled the roses in her arms. Her eyes caught his, and they sparked. Kuno's stomach plummeted. The urge came upon him like a wave to take Nabiki into his arms, to press her small round body against his chest, to gaze into her eyes and lower his head to kiss…. But no, Nabiki had seen him play the fool often enough.

"It shall not happen again," he told Akane.

She nodded, and the bouquet left his hands.

"Hey," Ranma said. "You did some pretty horrible things to me too. Don't I get an apology?"

Kuno clenched his fists. "Ranma Saotome, I am extremely sorry that I ever mistook you for a girl. Believe me when I say, the thought fills me with the most acute sickness. But I am not buying you flowers!"

"Eh, fair enough," he said.

"Well, now that that's out of the way," Nabiki said. "Kuno and I had better get going on our date. Akane, can you take my flowers into the house? Have Kasumi put them into a vase."

"Sure," Akane said.

"Good luck," Ranma said.

Nabiki slipped her hand around Kuno's arm and gave him a little smile. How sinister she could be. In one that simple gesture she held his heart against his will; thoughts of revenge yielded to the feeling of rising giddiness, like a balloon drifting aimless through the blue sky.

"So, where are we going on this date, Kuno-baby?" Nabiki said.

"To the mountains," Kuno said. "Come, Nabiki Tendo, let us depart."

………

When Kuno smiled, his whole face lit up, like a display of Christmas lights. It was actually kind of cute. In the time it took Nabiki to swipe her ticket from the fare-checking machine, he had already bounded halfway up the stairs, pausing only to wave her forward.

"Hurry, Nabiki Tendo. Our train will soon arrive."

"What's the rush?" she said, climbing up beside him.

"It has been too long, far too long, since I left my abode to revel in all the glories of nature," he said.

On the platform, Kuno planted his sword on the yellow line and breathed deeply from still polluted city air. He was so excited, it almost made her forget what a cheap date this really was. Not that Nabiki was in any position to complain. He held _anything_ over her. The more he enjoyed the actual date, the less likely he'd try to force something outrageous out of her afterwards.

"Do you like the mountains, Nabiki?" Kuno said.

"They're all right. Though to be honest, I don't usually go outside the city for my dates."

"Not expensive enough for your tastes?"

"Well…" Nabiki said. "But it's also a rather bold proposition."

"Bold? How so?"

"No one else is around," she said. "A girl has to be careful, after all. A guy might seem nice one minute. But then the next he might try and take advantage of you. You never know."

"And you think I would do such a despicable thing?" Kuno said.

"Not you." She smiled. "I trust you."

"You… Truly?"

"I wouldn't be here if I didn't," Nabiki said. "I know you're an honorable person, Kuno-baby. You wouldn't do anything to hurt me."

Unexpectedly, Kuno put his hands on her shoulders and drew her close to him. His mouth pressed into a thoughtful frown, and his dark eyes flickered across her face, searching, questioning. _Are you playing with me again, Nabiki Tendo?_

Nabiki stared back evenly. She wasn't naïve; she knew Kuno was the kind of guy who would buy half naked pictures of a girl he liked—she'd sold him the photos, after all. But she also knew that in his own mind he saw himself differently. He thought of himself as an old-fashioned nobleman; he did not harass the young ladies he dated. It was this part she trusted. This part of him—so long as it remained in control—that could carry her safely through their date.

Kuno's expression softened. He let her go.

"You are sincere," he said. "You trust me. No maiden has ever uttered such words to me. I thank you, Nabiki Tendo. Even if…"

She blinked. "If?"

"Oh look," he said suddenly. "Our train arrives. Shall we board then?"

Why'd she get the feeling that wasn't how the sentence was supposed to end?

The train chugged to a stop. Kuno darted inside and planted himself squarely in the middle. She followed after him. The movie ads hanging from the ceiling were at least a month old, the cushions a faded red. Nabiki sat down. Toward the back a couple junior high boys looked secretly over a magazine. When the train jerked forward with a screech, they nearly fell over.

Kuno, arms held across his chest, didn't so much as twitch. The picnic basket sat on the floor near his feet. He carried a real sword at his hip instead of just a wooden stick and the black color of his kendo outfit brought out the dark tones in his face. _Even if…_ Even if what? He was up to something.

"So," Nabiki said. "Have you given any thought to the end of our date?"

"Indeed I have. I made reservations at a high-class restaurant in Ginza. You do like sushi, don't you?"

"It's my favorite," she said. "But I meant about _anything_."

"Ah, that," he said. "Yes, I have considered that most carefully."

"So what were you thinking of?" she said.

"You would like to know?"

"Yes, I would."

"In that case."

Kuno leaned forward, eyes gleaming.

"I will not tell you," he said.

It was like running head first into a brick wall.

"Why not?" Nabiki said.

"Because I shall not."

"But—"

"Demand me nothing," Kuno said. "From this time forth I never will speak word."

With that, he squared his shoulders and threw his head magnificently into the air. Maybe he was going for resolute, but he came off as smug. Nabiki pressed her lips together. The legendary stubbornness of Kuno. How had she forgotten? She gave a short sigh and briefly closed her eyes, as if pained.

"You're cruel, Tatewaki," she said. "To toy with a girl's anxieties like this. Do you like to see me suffer?"

"That is not my intent," he said.

"Then why won't you tell me. You shouldn't have to hide it. It sounds like you're planning to take advantage of me in some awful way."

He looked away.

Nabiki frowned. "You're not, are you?"

"Ask not such a question of me," Kuno said. "For no reply shall spring from my lips. You are clever, Nabiki Tendo, but I will not be snared by you. There is nothing you can say to make me relent."

Oh really?

Nabiki leaned to one side and tilted her face up at him.

"Would you like to kiss me?" she said.

The train joggled. Kuno stumbled hard and had to make a furious swipe for one of the overhanging straps lest he tumble over.

"Na-Nabiki, you would…"

"Maybe," she said. "Is that what you intend to use _anything_ for?"

He flushed. "On this matter, my lips remain sealed."

"Lips again?" Nabiki pulled a twist of hair out of her face and let it fall back, strand by strand. "What exactly is on your mind, Kuno-baby?"

He turned his back to her and stared out the window. Kuno's ears were tomato red and beads of sweat dripped down his neck. Nabiki smiled. He was fun to tease, but she'd probably pushed him enough for now. Better to wait for another opportunity.

The scenery had shifted. Apartment high rises gave way to small houses and patches of rice fields. Several round mountains sat clumped together on the horizon. Most of these large hills were a yellow-green, but one mountain in particular was speckled with dark pink, almost red. The closer to the top, the more concentrated the color became.

"That pinkish hill is interesting," Nabiki said.

"It is Momoyama—Peach Mountain," Kuno said. "It is where we shall go for our date."

"Have you been there before?"

"I went once, with my mother and my father and my sister."

"Your mother?"

"Before she left," Kuno said. "That was long ago, but I still remember the day. I had just received my first kendo sword to commemorate my passage into kindergarten, and I practiced by slashing down the blossoms. When they fell, I collected them and made for my mother a large bouquet. I wished to return to Peach Mountain for a while now, but it seemed pitiful to go alone."

He looked over his shoulder at her and smiled. His eyes were wistful. Nabiki stared down at her hands.

Akane was the one who picked flowers; she tore them out of the ground and gave them to their mother with clumps of dirt still clinging to their roots. While Kasumi set out the riceballs, Nabiki explored the area around the blanket with a metal detector. She scooped dirty coins out of the ground and showed them to her mother. _What is it this time? Gold? Silver?_ Her mother smiled gently and cleaned the coins with a jar of vinegar. _I'm sorry, but it's just a 10 yen coin. Cheer up, Nabiki. I'm sure you'll find a treasure someday_.

"Did your family ever go out on such excursions?" Kuno said.

Nabiki rubbed her chest. "We used to. We went on picnics a lot when my mom was still alive. Not so much anymore."

………

The wind blew fiercely, pushing clouds over the sun. The light waivered uncertainly, and for an instant, the trail darkened. Kuno glanced back. Nabiki struggled to keep pace with him. Her breath came out harder than usual, sweat glistened across her brow, and the collar of her shirt stuck up, slightly crooked. And she was lovely. As lovely as the snowy cherry blossoms resting on spring's first bough.

"I'm getting a little tired," Nabiki said. "Can we take a break?"

"I believe we will come to a rest stop soon," he said.

In a clearing of maple trees, new leaves but half formed on the branches, a vending machine glowed near a couple of split-log benches. Kuno inserted a 1000 yen bill into the machine.

"Would you like something to drink?" he said.

"Thank you," Nabiki said. She pressed the button for a sports drink.

Fingers of wind stroked her hair and tossed it up. Nabiki sat down on the bench, twisted open the lid, and took a sip. Ah, that he were the bottle in her hand that he might touch those lips. The change dropped to the bottom of the machine with a resounding clang.

Nabiki looked at him. "Not thirsty Kuno-baby?"

Kuno shuffled coins from the change compartment to the pay slot and selected for himself a chilled green tea.

"Are enjoying your date with me, Nabiki?" he said, sitting down besides her. "I know a trip to the mountains is not your usual preference, but I hope it is not too inconvenient."

"It's nice here." She smiled. "Besides, I like spending time with you."

Such words made his chest swell, a pleasant ache. If only they were true.

Kuno drank his tea, but it had no flavor. A burst of sunlight fell suddenly through the trees and shone upon Nabiki's face, the shadow of maples tracing patterns on her cheek. He wished… he wished to seize her by the hand and lead her through the maze of endless trees, to frolic with her in fields of long grass, to sit with her near a pond and whisper the secret longings of his heart. Kuno shut his eyes. It was the curse of one so passionate: desiring too much what he could not have.

"Is something bothering you?" Nabiki said.

"Yes," Kuno said. "May I ask you a question, Nabiki Tendo?"

"Shoot."

"I have noticed—indeed who has not—a streak of ruthlessness embedded into your character. It is as though nothing affects you, whether swindling those closest to you or deceiving men into giving you their hearts. You maintain a regal bearing and overturn their lives as simply as you would switch off a light."

"Uh, thanks?" she said.

"Have you never felt… regret… for what might have been?"

"Not really."

"Never?"

She shrugged.

"How do you do it?" Kuno said. "How can you so easily hold yourself aloof while preparing to break someone's heart?"

"I guess I try not to think about that person very much," Nabiki said. "I just focus on what I want. The truth is, I'm not a very nice person. I'm sure you know that by now, so it's no use hiding it from you."

They finished their drinks in silence.

"Thank you for your honesty." Kuno sprang to his feet. "Let us continue then?"

"So, you're just going to leave it there?" Nabiki said.

"You have something more you wish to say?"

She shook her head. "Sometimes, you really are clueless, you know that."

Kuno frowned. Had she been insulted that he had not contradicted her statement that she was not a nice person? But it was the truth. Did she think that, having admitted as such, it had somehow lessened her allure in his eyes? Did self-doubt now tremble within her breast? Nabiki Tendo, hiding an actual maidenly emotion. Were it possible?

"Nabiki!" he cried.

She was fishing the coins out of the bottom of the vending machine.

"700 yen," Nabiki said. "Only you could completely forget to take your change. Well, your loss. Finders keepers, Kuno-baby."

For a moment Kuno stood there with his mouth hanging open. Then anger flashed upon him. Nabiki upset for not being thought of as nice? Ha! Rather expect a snake to blush at being called venomous or a tiger to protest its blood-thirsty reputation. And the sun might extinguish itself in the sky above before Nabiki Tendo ever stopped thinking of money.

"Tell me," Kuno said. "What is about currency that so entrances you?"

"It's fun," she said.

"Fun?"

"I like to spend money as much as the next girl. Clothes, cameras, concerts—I like those kinds of things. Doesn't everybody?"

"But for someone of such extraordinary greed, it is a rather ordinary motive. Somehow I expected better from you."

For a moment, Nabiki was quiet.

"It's a game," she said. "Making money, I mean. No one just gives their money away. I have to think about how to separate the two. How much can I take them for? How can I be sure they won't get revenge? It's a challenge, Kuno-baby, and I like to be challenged."

"How challenging can it be when I have never seen an opponent to equal you?"

"You assume my opponent is other people," she said. "It's not. It's living in a falling down dojo. It's watching my family getting into deeper debt. It's not even being able to go out for sushi without my dad taking out a loan. Well, that's not going to be my life. I'm going to be rich. Someday." She clenched the coins in her fist. "Until then, every little bit counts."

Her eyes burned like a comet streaming through the night. Her raw ambition pulled his soul like a magnet; but no sooner was he attracted, then he was repulsed, for in truth he did not understand her. How could living in a cozy house with such a caring family make her so unhappy?

"Money is not everything," Kuno said. "You ought not to value it overmuch."

"So you say, because you've always had it."

"And yet it means nothing to me. I would gladly cast aside my possessions if it meant having someone to share my life with. For wealth without love is but a porcelain vase with no flowers: empty."

"You're so dramatic, Kuno-baby. No girl's going to force you to be poor in order to be with her," Nabiki said. "So why can't I have both: love and money?"

"And if you had to choose?"

"Hm."

She jangled the coins in her palm one time before tucking them in her pocket.

"Which do you think I'd pick?"

He was afraid he knew all too well.

.........

Getting to the top of the mountain was like climbing a ladder. Wooden steps stuck out of the grassy slope, and Nabiki gripped them with her fingers. Kuno, already up, extended his arm. His hand felt warm in hers. Kuno's eyes were shining as he pulled her up.

"At last we are here."

The world exploded into pink.

Nabiki caught her breath. The top of the mountain was packed with so many peach trees it looked as if the clouds had turned into cotton candy. The vibrant pink contrasted with the overcast sky, and a light scent wafted on the wind. How did a few flowers—all right, a few thousand flowers—make her feel like she was coming into another world? In the distance, a family shared a picnic under the shade, their little girl chasing a black butterfly.

"What do you think of it?"

"Actually… it's kind of pretty," she said. "I can see why you wanted to come."

Kuno had a dreamy look on his face.

"There is something about being in nature that brings out the primeval forces in a man," he said. "Away from the pressures of civilization, he can at last be free to indulge in things he could never get away with in public."

"Really," Nabiki said. "What sort of things?"

Kuno turned red. "Come. Would you like to see my watermelon cutting skills?"

After he'd sliced up the watermelon and they ate lunch, they climbed back down the mountain. The woods had leveled off into fallow rice fields, but they were still miles from any civilization when it began to drizzle. Drip drop, drip drop. Dark stains dotted the road. Kuno stared at the sky as though he'd never seen rain before.

"How odd," he said. "It was so clear this morning."

"Well, the weather has a habit of changing." Nabiki took a collapsible umbrella out of her bag. "Did you bring an umbrella, Kuno-baby?"

"No. But never fear. A few drops of rain will hardly bother me."

The rain fell harder. It thrummed on Nabiki's umbrella like a bag of rice spilling over. The dirt road became a muddy stream. Nabiki stuck out her hand and watched her palm fill with water.

"You're right," she said. "Only a few drops. Hardly a bother at all."

Kuno looked like a drowned cat.

"Share your umbrella with me, Nabiki," he said.

"And what will you give me if I do?"

His face darkened. "Must I pay you for every shred of human decency?"

"I'll tell you what," Nabiki said. "Since we're on a date, I'll let you under my umbrella for free—if you tell me what you're planning to use _anything_ for."

"On second thought, a little rain won't kill me," Kuno said. "Now that I think about it, I find it rather refreshing."

"You really don't want to say?" Nabiki said. "If you're embarrassed now, what makes you think you'll be able to do it when the date's over."

"I am not embarrassed," he said.

"Then why won't you tell me?"

"Because I prefer not to."

"You know, it's a small umbrella," Nabiki said. "If we did share, we'd have to huddle really close together. Leaning up against each other, our heads just touching, who knows what might happen..."

Kuno slipped. His arms swung wildly as he tried to keep from falling over.

Nabiki laughed. "You're so impressionable."

"You find this amusing, Nabiki Tendo. Very well." He drew his sword from its sheath with a hiss. "We shall see how you fare without your umbrella."

"You wouldn't."

"Convince me otherwise."

Nabiki sighed. "All right, Kuno-baby, if that's what you want. What other choice do I have?"

From the corner of her eye, she saw his sword lowering.

"Then… you surrender?" Kuno said.

Nabiki broke and ran.

She must have caught him by surprise; a good two seconds she dashed through the puddles, water dripping into her shoes, before she heard him shout and splash wildly behind her. Nabiki smiled. Her umbrella was up against the rain; water smacked against her legs. Kuno's voice rose louder—he was catching up. Nabiki's heart raced. There—a sudden bend in the road. Nabiki leapt to the side and Kuno flew right on past her.

He fell face first into the fallow rice field. His sword shot out of his hand and landed somewhere in the puddles. Kuno sat back and blinked owlishly at her through a layer of mud. Clumps of dirt fell into his shirt and on his lap. A small green weed got stuck on top of his hair, making his head look like a flower pot.

Twirling her umbrella, Nabiki hopped back onto the main road

"That's a good look for you, Kuno-baby," she said.

Kuno wiped his face off. "I wonder if the mud would suit you, Nabiki."

"Don't you dare."

He grinned.

Nabiki sprinted back towards the woods. He darted after her. He was quick. From the side, his arm reached to grab her. She dodged. Off the road, gasping for air. Shoot. The mud clumped to her shoes, made it hard to run. She was stuck, and he was gaining ground fast.

"Stop," she said. "I'll send you my laundry bill."

"A small price to pay!"

His hands seized her waist. Nabiki shut her eyes.

Rain pattered down on her umbrella. Kuno's arms wound gently around her stomach, cradling her. His chest pressed against her back, so that her shirt became soaked with mud. His face came to rest on her hair. Nabiki felt the ticklish buzz of his breathing above her ear. It was flurried. Like her own.

Nabiki's throat suddenly felt very dry, and she swallowed. It shouldn't feel so nice, so natural, for him to hold her like this. She wanted to drop her umbrella, put her arms over his, and just lean back into him. She wanted to look at his face, into his eyes, at his mouth and… and… She trembled. She couldn't think. Why did she imagine that she could feel his heart pounding, through his chest, through her back, and that each slow thud echoed her own?

"Nabiki…"

"You're under my umbrella," she said. "Are you going to tell me?"

Abruptly, he let her go and stepped away.

………

Hours had passed, but he could still remember the feeling of holding her in his arms. It had only been for a second, but it had stirred against his heart. If he could have glimpsed her face then, if he could have known she felt as he did. Kuno wiped the steam from the mirror. But perhaps it did not matter after all. He was resolved. This slow pleasant torture was drawing to an end, and now he would have what he wanted.

He checked his reflection one last time. The tuxedo complimented his muscular form and handsome features—certainly he was a fine specimen to look at. Kuno walked out of the baths. Long stemmed roses graced the displays of the gift shop. The flowers of love, so pure, so romantic, so entirely unfitting for Nabiki. Instead, Kuno made purchase of a bright orange tiger lily and walked into the hotel lobby. Plush pearl-white sofas mingled with polished walnut coffee tables, and there were touches of gold on the lamps. At the marble front desk, the receptionist, a short proper man with a mustache, bowed politely.

"Good evening, Mr. Kuno," he said.

"Good evening," Kuno said. "I spoke to you earlier about a particular set of services I require."

"The arrangements have been made. And which one is the young lady?"

"She should be coming out of the bath shortly."

He threw his glance carelessly in that direction just as Nabiki Tendo stepped into the lobby.

A sleek black dress rode the curves of her hips and chest. Beads garnished the dark fabric and sequence flashed silver in the light like the nightscape of a city. Kuno's heart beat in his throat. Nabiki was the kind of glamour that men would spend a fortune on just to carry on their arm. Her eyes scanned the room, and when she caught sight of him, she smiled.

"I see," the receptionist said. "We will take care of it."

Kuno nodded.

Up close, Nabiki smelled of soap and shampoo. Her bare hands lay quietly at her side. Would it be too forward to pluck such a hand up to his lips and press one small kiss upon the skin? Yes, perhaps it would be. Instead, he offered her the tiger lily.

"Nabiki Tendo, you look quite beautiful tonight," Kuno said.

"Thank you," she said. "No rose this time?"

"There is no longer any point in pretense," he said.

Nabiki tilted her head. "Pretense?"

"Besides, I think a tiger lily better suits your personality," Kuno said. "Shall we be off to dinner then?"

They rode the elevator to the top floor and entered the restaurant together. The maitre d' gave Kuno a small nod as he showed them to their seats. Nabiki's eyes glowed. It was a sparse but elegant restaurant, with thin cut bamboo valances running over beige walls and calligraphy scrolls hanging down. The lighting resembled sheets of paper folded into triangles. Soy sauce bottles were made of blue cut glass.

"This is a nice restaurant," Nabiki said. "It's sweet of you to bring me here."

"It is nothing," he said. "Order whatever you like. As much as you want."

She was not shy. Nabiki chose expensive sushi, and when she ate, she held her chopsticks to her mouth for an extra moment, as if to savor the taste. So content, so happy. So blissfully unaware of what was coming after dinner. Kuno swallowed his fine cuts of fish like pills. _I try not to think about the person very much. I just focus on what I want_. Two weeks of attempting to understand the workings of her mind and he had learned much—but there was a limit as to how far he could mimic her. He could play her game, but he could not dull his feelings—and that, perhaps, was the difference between them.

"You're very quiet tonight," Nabiki said.

"I am simply thinking," he said.

"About what?"

He paused. "About you."

A smile crept onto her lips—then suddenly she froze. She looked over her shoulder, frowning.

"Are you all right?" Kuno said. "You seem disturbed just now."

"It's just this funny feeling I've been getting all night," she said. "Like people are staring at me. Like I'm being watched."

"You are," he said.

"What?"

"Perhaps I should have told you earlier. I requested the hotel staff to monitor your presence during our date. They are here to make sure you do not leave the premise unaccompanied by me."

Nabiki's eyes narrowed. "Why?"

"So that you do not escape," Kuno said. "Do you think you I have not considered the very real possibility that you might renege on your promise the moment the date is over? I know your reputation for slipperiness. No, I will see to it that you give me what is owed."

"You don't trust me?"

"I know you too well to trust you."

She looked away. Perhaps he had hurt her. But if so, the feeling did not last long, for an instant later Nabiki's expression had hardened into a mask of cool detachment.

"So what's the big secret?" she said. "Are you sure you're not making a fuss over nothing? I might just give you… whatever you want… willingly."

"No," he said. "You will not."

Silence.

"If you try and force me, our relationship will be over," Nabiki said. "I mean it. Are you really going to throw all that away?"

"What relationship do you think we have?" Kuno said. "That I am your fool, your purse? You have taken my money and dealt me only pain and humiliation in return. If that is our relationship, then, yes, Nabiki Tendo, I will gladly rid myself of it."

She stood up and walked out.

Kuno felt a pinching in his chest. It was all for justice, after all. These feelings for her were nothing, a manipulation, and they would pass like the melting of snow. A waiter came with the bill, and Kuno opened his wallet.

In the restaurant's lounge, crystal chandeliers sparkled from the ceiling; the light glided down, down and shone upon the beads in Nabiki's black dress. She stood in front of a long mirror, her arms folded across her stomach. Like a porcelain figurine, hard, yet somehow fragile. She did not look up when he entered. Bangs hung over eyes, her visage was stormy.

"The date is over," Nabiki said. "Now tell me what you want."

Kuno stepped beside her. "I want—"

………

**Author's Note:**

Sorry for the cliffhanger. Or maybe it's not a cliffhanger—maybe it's obvious what he wants. Sorry for the delay—I got burnt out on my last chapter and had problems coming up with ideas for this one. Sorry for the lack of humor at the end. Sorry for the overuse of flowers. (In case anyone is wondering about the tiger lily, I found out it's a symbol of wealth and pride—thus, the perfect flower for Nabiki.) But I'm not going to apologize for my characters possibly veering in an OOC direction—not until my next chapter, that is. Then I will apologize profusely.

My Shakespeare quotient for this chapter has been filled by two quotes from Othello. The first one, slightly mangled in my story, reads originally: "Though I do hate him as I do hell-pains./ Yet, for necessity of present life,/ I must show out a flag and sign of love,/ Which is indeed but sign." The second is: "Demand me nothing…/ From this time forth I never will speak word." Both come from the character Iago. I've also corrupted a line from Romeo and Juliet: "O, that I were a glove upon that hand,/ That I might touch that cheek!"

And I just want to say thanks to everyone who reviewed my story. I'm so happy by all your positive remarks. It's really encouraged me to keep writing and editing. And I can't believe I'm already at 50 reviews. :) Thanks to everyone who left a comment. I appreciate it.


	7. 6: Anything

**I Want a Refund!**

**Chapter 6: Anything**

………

………

Dark puddles on the concrete were the only evidence of the afternoon's rain. Stepping out of the hotel, Kuno could see flashing advertisements on the building across from him. Well-dressed lovers walked by, pressed arm in arm for warmth. Such happy oblivion poured from their faces. Would that he could feel the same.

Near a pillar, Nabiki Tendo stood with her hands wrapped tightly around her arms. Gusts of wind from passing cars tugged at the delicate gauze of her dress, but she seemed not to notice, staring as she was, hard, at the buildings in front of her.

"The taxi shall arrive shortly." Kuno removed his tuxedo jacket. "It is rather chilly this evening. Perhaps you would—?"

"No," she said.

Her eyes were wet. A single tear slid down her face.

Pressure swelled in Kuno's chest, and he held his jacket like dead weight in his arm. It was over, and he had gotten all that he desired from her. So why then this feeling? The spell should be broken, the chains shattered, and the bells of freedom rung in glorious song. This—her quiet crying—it should not cut him so.

"Tears do not suit you, Nabiki Tendo," Kuno said. "You are too cold, too cruel for such maidenly emblems of distress."

Nabiki wiped her cheek with the back of her hand.

"You're heartless," she said.

"I, the heartless one? It was you who promised_ anything_ for my defeat. It was you who watched coolly as I fought day after day; you, Nabiki Tendo, who spun profit from my suffering time and time again. And you would call me heartless?" He looked away from her. "What I took from you was no more than what was justly owed."

"You hurt me."

"You deserved to be hurt."

The taxi arrived. Nabiki stepped in the vehicle and slammed the door behind her. Kuno was forced to enter through the other side.

"Where to?" the driver said.

"Nerima ward."

The cab's motor hummed. Nabiki's whole body was turned against him, facing the door window. A faint mist from the heater crept over the glass and hid her reflection from him. Nabiki's shoulders were clenched; the ends of her hair plunged down like fangs.

"Are you angry with me?" Kuno said.

No reply came. No sound at all, save for Nabiki's breathing, soft and strained. Like the last note of a violin as it faded to air.

"Do you think that I enjoy seeing you so upset?" he said. "I do not. I much prefer your laughter to this silence. Even your sneering insults and biting sarcasm have a kind of lively charm to them. I have grown accustomed to such things from you."

Outside, a cat yowled and a trash can rattled. The taxi ground to a halt.

"We're here," the driver said.

"Do not scorn me Nabiki Tendo." Kuno laid a hand gently on her shoulder. "We were on friendly terms before. I would have us be so again."

Nabiki turned. Her eyes were as dry as steel.

"I hate you, Tatewaki Kuno," she said.

She wrenched open the door. The sequence of her dress flashed one last time under the dim glow of the streetlight, and she passed into darkness of her yard, drifting away from him. Drifting away from him. Air burst into Kuno's lungs, and he flung himself out of the taxi.

"Nabiki, stop!"

"Leave me alone!"

"I will not allow this!"

She was nearly to the door when he caught her by the wrist. Her skin felt cool and smooth. Her hair flew as she spun to face him, her dark eyes ice.

"Don't touch me!" she said.

"You have no right to hate me," Kuno said.

"I have every right!" Nabiki said. "You used me and took advantage of me! I never want to see you again! So get your hands off me and get out of my life!"

Her words stuck in his throat, and for a moment, he could no longer breathe.

WHAM!

The next instant, he could no longer see. The explosion of pain—akin to being hit in the head with a telephone pole—tore Kuno's vision to black. His grip loosened, and Nabiki slipped away… Clouds swirled through silver moonlight like wisps of dark cotton, but there were no stars in the sky tonight.

The material around his neck tightened, and Kuno's head rose from the ground. Two pretty, narrowed eyes glared down at him. Nabiki…? No. No, it was Akane. Akane Saotome, who had him by the collar.

"YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF MY SISTER!"

Yes, Akane Saotome. And here was Ranma, too, standing beside her with his pigtail sticking up. And gathered near the door was Nabiki's other sister, the one with long hair, and a panda and some kind of howling demon bearing a faint resemblance to Mr. Tendo. But no Nabiki? Where was she?

The world spun into a nauseous cacophony of colors and shapes. Akane Saotome shook him until his teeth chattered.

"I said, what did you do to her!" she said. "Answer me! What on earth did you ask for?"

"A refund," he said.

"A refund!" Akane thundered. She blinked. "Wait, a _refund_? You mean money?"

"For all the photographs I purchased from her over the past year."

Akane dropped him. Kuno's head cracked against the ground. It hurt, somewhat.

"Wah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! You're telling me you took money from Nabiki. _You_ did." Ranma Saotome's laughter was like the crowing of a rooster, foul and loathsome. "Oh boy, I can't wait to let her have it about this one."

Kuno stood and removed his sword.

"Fiend!" he cried, swinging at Ranma. "I will cut you where you stand before I hear you laugh at Nabiki Tendo!"

"Hey!" Ranma said.

His enemy stumbled back. Kuno slashed, and hit upon air. The cursed acrobat had already fled, springing backwards into a tree. With a yell, Kuno charged forth and sliced off a branch. The smack of wood was more satisfying than sawing through air, but Ranma had vanished once again.

"Coward!" Kuno said. "Stand and fight! I will strike you down! I will—"

Thunk. A weight landed like a stone on Kuno's head. Ranma's upside down face peered at him from above.

"What're you mad at me for?" he said. "You're the one that took her money."

"Villian!" Kuno thrashed. "Cur! Demon! Sorcerer!"

"Oh knock it off, you two," Akane said. "You're fighting over nothing."

Ranma flipped off Kuno's head. "It's not my fault. I was just trying to congratulate him and look what happens."

"Congratulate me?" Kuno said.

He slashed again, but the fiend simply somersaulted away.

"On what, pray tell? That my heart has been ripped still beating from my chest. That every breath I draw sickens me to the depths of my stomach. That even this starless night cannot compare to the blackness within my soul. Nabiki Tendo hates me!"

No sooner had the words left his mouth than the full meaning crashed down upon him like an anchor. Nabiki hated him. His sword became as unwieldy as a missile and wobbled in his hand. Kuno could no longer fight. He could do nothing but stand and stare in amazement.

"She hates me?" he said.

"Hey, you okay?" Ranma said.

"Why?" Kuno said. "Why should three little words shake me to my very foundation? Had I not known it before? Was her contempt for me not visible in every look she gave me, in every word she spoke? And yet, she never once said she hated me."

A single light burned in the upstairs bedrooms of the Tendo residency, and the curtains rustled in the breeze. For a moment he thought he saw the shadow of a person standing there. Was it Nabiki watching him, the same way she did everyday before school, with a twirling of hair and an insufferable smirk on her face? He shut his eyes. Why did she always smile even as she tore his heart to ribbons?

"Do you laugh now?" he yelled to the house. "Do you think to rob me of my victory with mere words? You are mistaken. From the beginning, your presence has been naught but a thorn in my side, and I have removed you. Good night, Nabiki Tendo!"

The cab driver waited outside the car, smoking a cigarette. Kuno fished out his wallet, now fat with Nabiki's money. Victory. Kuno handed the driver a wad of crumpled bills. Victory was joyless and tasted like ash in his mouth.

………

Nabiki shut the curtains with a swish.

_I have removed you_.

What the hell did that mean? He didn't want her in his life now? Well, his loss. Not like she didn't have better things to do than clue the moron in on how the world worked. Not like she didn't have problems of her own.

Nabiki threw her black account book on her desk. Thwack. The hard plastic smacked the wood. Top of the first page. Item sold: photos of the "pigtailed girl." Purchased by: Kuno-baby. Price: 3,000 yen. And the date—the first time she saw how profitable revenge could be.

Kuno's eyes glazed over as he ogled the pictures. She knew the look—she saw it every time he stared at her sister. He felt up the edges of the photographs, and Nabiki felt up his 3,000 yen. What if she encouraged this? She might save up enough to start her own small business. And the fact that it was a boy Kuno was after—that was even more ridiculous than her crush on him.

Nabiki stabbed the page with her pencil. 3,000 yen. Gone. Crossed out.

She slashed again and again, hacking through dates and bleeding her profits. The point of her pencil wore down to a stub. So many transactions. She didn't intend for it to go on so long. But she was getting richer, so what did it matter? That stupid little tug in the pit of her stomach—as if she still liked him, as if he meant something to her. Money covered that up, and she was addicted to his money now.

Nabiki was out of breath. Her hand shook, her fingers clamped so tight around the pencil she thought it would snap.

And then, tonight…

If he wore that same glazed expression, she'd be fine. Through the mirror, she watched him come into the lobby. Dressed in a tuxedo, he looked like an old-fashioned movie star. His eyes flickered: from her dress, to the mirror, to her hair, back to the mirror again. And finally stopped.

His eyes were clear.

"I want a refund," he said.

A knock on the door.

"Can I come in?" Akane said.

"No."

Her sister poked her head into the room anyway.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah sure." Nabiki quickly closed her account book. "Just peachy."

Akane brought a chair in from the hall.

"So, what happened?" she said.

"What usually happens when a boy takes a girl to a hotel, has her watched by the staff all night, and then tells her he won't let her out until she gives him the _anything_ she owes him."

"_What_?" Akane leapt to her feet. "He told us he just took your money!"

"He did."

"But—but you said a hotel—he didn't—I mean, he didn't even try to—?"

"To force himself on me?" Nabiki said. "Get your mind out of the gutter."

Akane blushed.

"But that means he wasn't after you," she said. "He didn't want you at all."

Nabiki bit her cheek. "I guess not."

"That's a relief," Akane said. "He's gotten better lately, less grabby, but Kuno's still Kuno. I was worried he'd try something."

"He did try something. He took my money," Nabiki said. "You know, he had lawyers at the front desk waiting to draw up a legally binding loan, just in case I didn't have the cash to pay him. As it was, I had to withdraw most of my savings from the hotel ATM. He acted nice throughout the date, right up until the end—then he robbed me."

"Yeah, but don't you do the same thing to other guys?"

Nabiki turned away. She didn't want to hear about that.

"You're being too hard on him," Akane said. "For once, he didn't do anything wrong. Not really. I know you're angry, but you want to make up with him at some point, right? You want go back to being friends?"

Nabiki flicked her fingernails across the surface of her desk. That's exactly what he said in the cab. _We were on friendly terms before, and I would have us be so again_. Let's roll the clock back and pretend none of this ever happened. Let's be friends.

"Friends," Nabiki said.

She curled her hands into fists.

"What makes you think he was ever my friend? He was a business transaction. An idiot willing to fork over huge sums of money for the most ridiculous things. Friends? Why would I want to be friends with a perverted, delusional, poetry-spouting freak?"

Silence.

"Okay, I get it," Akane said. "You hate him."

"Glad you figured it out."

"But I still feel sorry for him," Akane said. "One minute he's fighting Ranma as usual, and the next he's just standing there with his sword hanging down. The look on his face was like—I don't know, like he lost his best friend."

Nabiki pulled her account book close to her chest.

"You look a little pale," Akane said. "Are you sure you're all right?"

"I lost half a year's income in one night," Nabiki said. "I am not all right."

"Is there anything I can do?"

"Just leave me alone."

Once Akane closed the door, Nabiki buried her chin into the top of her account book. What was she supposed to do? Tell her sister the truth? When Kuno grabbed her wrist and Nabiki said—what did she say, again? It was some final piece of melodrama, the climax of a great performance she'd been acting out since she left the hotel. It got a reaction though. The shock in Kuno's eyes, the expression on his face… like he was falling off a cliff. No, like she pushed him off. Well good. That's what she wanted, wasn't it? Except for afterwards, when she felt like she was going to be sick.

_I have removed you._

Nabiki shut her eyes.

He didn't mean it. He never did.

_………_

_Today, I made my first enemy. _

The unrefined lettering blurred together on the aged yellow paper. Kuno rubbed his eyes. The constant glare of the artificial light formed a glass shard which dug into his skull. If he could throw down his diary, fling himself upon his bed, and surrender to the sweet amnesia of sleep, he would do so. But he could not—so he stared back at the page and kept reading.

_Today, I made my first enemy. Her name is Nabiki Tendo._

Nabiki Tendo, his enemy. If only it were so simple.

_She said she would show me a trick if I let her borrow a 1,000 yen bill. Then she folded my money into various shapes: a samurai hat, a cat's face, a snake. But in the end, she stuffed my 1,000 yen in her pocket and would not give it back. _

In that she had not changed. Ever clever, mischievous, and obsessed with money.

_And then Nabiki Tendo said—and I shall never forget this—she said, "Kuno-baby, Kuno-baby. You know your shaved head kind of makes you look like a caterpillar." How dare she say that to me! I, Tatewaki Kuno, age 13, will not be compared to a worm!_

Even at this young age, her words had the power to strike to his core. The words of all others he forgot, but not hers. They wedged splinter-like beneath his skin. "I hate you." Why could he not forget that?

_One day, I will be the shining star of our school, and she will see! I am not some puny insect crawling on a leaf!_

Kuno turned to look at the next page, but found only the back of the cover. There was no more.

He had read through his entire collection of diaries, from yesterday's entry to the first day of junior high, and still he had no answer to the question that had seared itself into his brain: what had changed about Nabiki Tendo?

He tossed his diary aside. It landed with a thud among the others, sprawled and upset, covers jutted out, delicate pages exposed. What had changed? It was nothing about her physical appearance. Not the cut of her hair nor the style of her clothes nor the way she held herself, proud and aloof, with just a hint of seductive charm. And he knew of no major shift in her personality either. Yet something must have changed. Nabiki hated him, she never wanted to see him again, their relationship now lay in ruins at his feet—but for all that, try as he might, _he could not stop thinking about her_.

Outside his window the lacquer black of the sky had faded to a more charcoal color. Very dim sunlight perhaps, but enough to practice his swordsmanship by. Kuno pulled his kendo wear from the closet and hastily dressed. A few hundred strokes, a few thousand strokes would certainly cure him of this disease. He reached for his sword upon its stand in the alcove, when suddenly he noticed an object on the floor besides it.

Nabiki Tendo's lunchbox.

Kuno picked it up. It was clean; he had washed it but a few days earlier. The lunchbox was manufactured from cheap red plastic, and on the bottom was written the words "property of the Tendo family" in faded permanent ink. Quite an ordinary thing. And yet extraordinary that she had given it to him at all.

Why had she continued to nourish him at lunch day after day? Why behave as though what was for her a severely unnatural act of generosity was perfectly normal and reasonable?

And why, too, did she sometimes laugh and try to hide it from him?

The first time she moved her hand to her mouth and made a muffled sound he assumed she was coughing. But then Kuno saw the twinkle in her eye and understood. Why cover it up? If she thought she was offending him—but no, it could not be that, for she had offended him before, openly, without the slightest show of remorse. Besides, it was not the kind of smile that could offend. Once, when she did not move her hand fast enough, he caught a glimpse of it: brief, sweet, and natural. The memory made his heart ache.

"You have such a lovely smile," Kuno said. "Like the early plum blossoms or the first warm day in February. Why do you keep it a secret? Why do you hide everything about you I love?"

Pause.

"Love…?"

The word seemed new and strange upon his tongue, as though he had never before uttered it. From outside came the chirp of a bird, a pretty trilling tune that made the heart stir and the spirit rise. Morning was coming, yet Kuno felt as if he were caught in a dream.

"I love her?" he said.

Nabiki Tendo, whose sparkling eyes quickly turned to look upon the dull silver sheen of a 100 yen coin. Nabiki Tendo, whose long clever fingers sifted through stacks of 1,000 yen bills. Nabiki Tendo, whose heart—for yes, she had one, and it was mysterious and convoluted and beautiful—whose heart she rented out but never simply gave away, not to be had, not be owned, not by anyone, least of all him.

"I? Love her?"

It was impossible. Was this not the same girl who had not ceased to torment him for all six years he had known her? A playful smile, a flick of her hair, and some witty barb lodged deep into his soul. A caterpillar, she called him. He would not be that to her—nothing so small and insignificant. He wanted her eyes to gaze at him and her fingers to twine around his own and her heart to belong to him and no one else.

Kuno fell to his knees. "I love her."

Rays of yellow light poured down from the window onto the tatami mat, but his fingers were cold and trembling, clenched around the lunchbox she'd given him. He loved her. Well and truly, as Romeo loved his Juliet.

Kuno closed his eyes.

"I am fortune's fool," he said softly.

………

Tick, tick, tick. The living room clock read 6:05.

Way too early to be up and dressed on a Sunday morning. Nabiki yanked a comb through her hair. She couldn't stay asleep, though. Too many thoughts stuffed in her head. All that money lost. Money was part of it, anyway. She glanced at her reflection in a mirror. Bloodshot eyes and hair stuck up in the back. Lovely. Well, who'd she have to look pretty for anyway? She tossed the comb on the table and went into the kitchen.

White chrysanthemums sat on the windowsill.

Nabiki looked at them for a minute, before getting a carton of orange juice out of the fridge. So. Akane received his heartfelt apologies. And she received a broken heart. How fitting. Nabiki poured the juice in a glass and gulped it down. At least he wasn't in love with her sister anymore; she was grateful for that.

Sunlight poked through the curtains. Nabiki peeked out the window. It seemed like a nice day. Maybe she'd go for a walk. Clear her head. Nabiki put on a sweater and opened the door. Tatewaki Kuno stood in her front yard, his neck was craned up, eyes glued on the upstairs windows.

"Nabiki Tendo!" he bellowed.

"What?" she said.

He startled. "Oh! You're awake."

"Yeah." Nabiki crossed her arms. "What do you want?"

"I have come to put an end to this animosity between us," Kuno said. "We were once friends and shall be so again, whether you wish it or not. I will not leave the premise until I hear from your lips, Nabiki Tendo, that you do not hate me."

"Okay," Nabiki said. "I don't hate you."

Kuno blinked.

"Are you going to leave now?"

"No!" he said, coloring. "You play with my feelings yet again! Do you not know how utterly wretched you made me last night?"

"I wasn't dancing for joy, either."

"What were you feeling?" he said. "Tell me honestly."

"You expect me to stand here and pour my heart out to you first thing in the morning," Nabiki said. "I haven't even eaten breakfast yet."

Kuno sighed.

"I believe there is a café near your house," he said. "Would you care to accompany me there?"

"Are you paying?"

"Naturally."

Nabiki shrugged. "Sure. Why not."

They walked without saying much. The sky was a pale blue, and Kuno's pale blue kendo shirt was inside out. There were dark rings around his eyes. Once or twice, a car went by. Once or twice, Nabiki glanced at Kuno's hand, swaying at his side. If things had gone differently last night… But they hadn't. She shoved her own hands deep into her pockets.

The café smelled of bread and coffee. The only other person there was the owner, a woman in her thirties who showed them to their table. Nabiki ordered the morning service set: toast, eggs, salad, and choice of drink. The owner nodded and asked Kuno what he'd like to eat. He didn't answer. He was staring rather forlornly at a tiger lily in a vase at the other table. Nabiki poked him.

"Kuno-baby? Food?" she said.

"I'll have the same," he said.

"You drink coffee?" Nabiki said.

"No. Tea."

After the owner left, Kuno rubbed his eyes. He looked exhausted.

"I take it you didn't sleep well last night," Nabiki said.

"I did not sleep at all." He shook his head and straightened up. "Now since I have bought you breakfast, perhaps you would be so kind as to answer some questions for me."

"You want to interrogate me?"

"Yes. And I would have the truth from you."

"Well, the truth costs extra."

"Somehow that does not surprise me." Kuno reached for his wallet. "Will 5,000 yen be sufficient?"

She'd intended to press him for a pastry.

"I suppose it'll have to do," Nabiki said, pocketing the cash.

The drinks arrived. Nabiki tore open a packet of sweetener and dumped it into her coffee.

"So what do you want to know?" she said.

Kuno, despite not adding cream or sugar, stirred circles in his tea.

"Do you really hate me?" he said.

"No."

"Then why did you say so last night?"

"Why do you think?" Nabiki said. "You took my money. I was angry with you."

"And when you said you never wished to see me again—?"

"A lie. Obviously, I wouldn't be here if I meant it."

"I see." Kuno sipped his tea. "Tell me, Nabiki Tendo. Did you plot from the beginning to ensnare my heart or was it simply an opportunity that arose from the occasion?"

"What are you talking about?" Nabiki said.

"I am in love with you."

She stared. Was this a joke or—no, Kuno wouldn't joke about something like that. He was in love with her? Nabiki's cheeks burned. She knew he'd liked her—sort of—but love? When did that happen? Her stomach fluttered, and her palms were wet. She quickly wiped them on her pants.

Kuno frowned, a flicker of uncertainty in his eyes.

"You did not plan this?" he said.

"How could I possibly plan something like that?"

"I would not put it past you. Surely, it is to your advantage. You have me at your mercy. You control my heart and thus my wallet. My money is yours to do with as you please."

"You're in a romantic mood this morning," Nabiki said. "First you tell me you love me, then you accuse me of manipulating you into it to get at your money."

"Did you?"

"No."

"Oh," he said. "Then I suppose I simply love you."

The thought didn't seem to make him any happier. Kuno took another stoic swallow of his tea. He was acting strange for someone claiming to be in love. Shouldn't he be reciting poems or cascading her with flowers or at least smiling?

Without thinking, Nabiki added more sugar to her coffee. Too much. She wasn't sure she could drink it now. She wasn't sure she'd be able to drink it anyhow, the way her stomach was hopping around like a toad.

"Do you love me, Nabiki Tendo?" Kuno said.

Her stomach plummeted, and her throat clamped shut. Nope. Not able to drink a drop.

"Nabiki?"

She cleared her throat.

"Do I love you?" she said. "Well, no, not exactly—"

"No," he said, as if expecting it. "Such a short, cruel word to dash my hopes." He opened his wallet.

"Kuno-baby, just because I don't love you, doesn't mean I don't—"

A stack of falling 10,000 bills stopped her short.

"Uh, what's this?" Nabiki said.

"Your refund," Kuno said. "I give up, Nabiki Tendo."

"You give up?" Nabiki rubbed her head. "We stopped playing this game last night. You already won."

"Won? Do you think it was money I hoped to gain?" Kuno said. "I took what was most precious to you in the world, and you do not hate me, you do not love me, you do not feel more than a flash of anger, quickly passing. I wanted to affect you."

"Affect me?"

Kuno gestured vaguely in the air.

"Some days you smile, some days you frown, but these are mere moods, ripples upon a still lake. Your true feelings, what's hidden deep within, I cannot reach. You do not know how easily, how unthinkingly you can smash my heart to pieces. And yet I cannot touch yours. I have tried. But you keep it locked away, a beautiful object encased in glass."

Nabiki was quiet. He thought she was indifferent to him? And that what, she opened five packets of sugar because she liked her coffee that sweet?

"You affect me more than you think," she said. "I may not love you, but it's not as if I don't have any feelings for you. I enjoyed most of our date yesterday."

"I did as well," he said.

She leaned in closer. "I wouldn't say no if you asked me again."

"I would much desire to do so," Kuno said. "But it cannot be. I will not date with you anymore."

Like a slap. Nabiki flinched back.

"Why not?" she said.

"Because I have no wish to be added to your long list of admirers who dated you, showered you with presents, handed you their heart on a silver tray, and were promptly thrown away," Kuno said. "If you so desire my money, you may have it, but I will not allow you to break my heart again."

"I'm not after your money this time," Nabiki said. "I like you."

"Would that I could believe it."

His eyes drifted past her. That look again. She hated that look. Like his thoughts had run into a glass wall. Nabiki clenched her hands. There had to be some way to convince him she cared about him. She looked around the table.

10,000 yen bills were spread out, like cards, near her coffee cup.

Nabiki's insides froze up. No. She wasn't even considering that. For him? He wasn't worth it. Just because she liked him. Just because he said loved her. Just because he stared at her like she was the most beautiful, interesting, frustrating girl in the world and she wanted him to keep looking at her like that.

Nabiki sighed. Damn it, she was an idiot.

She unclenched her hands and shuffled the 10,000 yen bills together.

"Well," she said. "I have my money back, and I guess that's all that really matters. Profit is profit, right?"

She bent back the edges and began counting, slowly and loudly.

"10,000 yen. 20,000 yen. 30,000 yen..."

"There is no need to count," Kuno said. "I have not shortchanged you."

She ignored him. "60,000 yen. 70,000 yen. 80,000 yen…"

The way he ground his fists into the table and glared at the money, you'd think it was a rival suitor she had her hands all over, not some limp pieces of paper. She smiled. Nice to see him so jealous, though.

"220,000 yen. 230,000 yen. 240,000 yen..."

Kuno folded his hands over his chest and looked away.

Once she finished counting, Nabiki rapped the bills together to make an even stack and laid the money neatly onto the table.

"It's a lot of money, isn't it?" she said. "It took me half a year to save this up. There are so many things I can use it for. College, my own business, maybe something frivolous like a vacation. You have no idea how hard it was for me to let it go."

Nabiki took a deep breath and shoved the stack toward him.

"Take it back," she said.

Kuno melted into a puddle of confusion.

"What?" he said. "Why?"

"Maybe now you'll believe me when I say I have feelings for you."

"Feelings…?"

"I like you, Tatewaki Kuno. Not love—it's too soon for that. But you mean a lot to me." She glanced down at the stack of bills. "More than money does."

"Nabiki Tendo!"

She felt him suddenly sweep her hands into his and squeeze them gently, causing a pleasant tingling right down to the pit of her stomach. Kuno beamed at her, eyes bright and clear and overflowing with joy. As if she were the only girl he'd ever seen. Nabiki found herself smiling too. Crazy how she could throw away this much money and still feel happy. Crazy—like a character from a cheap T.V drama—a silly, love-struck teenage girl.

The café owner interrupted just then with two large plates and apologies for breakfast being so late—she'd run out of butter and had to ask a friend to bring her some more. As she set down the plates, Kuno let go of her hands. But he continued to stare at her in wonder for several seconds more, even after the owner had left.

"Am I dreaming?" he said.

"Hard to do if you don't sleep," Nabiki said.

"You would choose me over money?"

"Yes. And don't you dare make do it again." Nabiki swirled the dressing around her salad. "Money's still important to me, you know, and I never could tolerate stingy men. My boyfriend will have to be very generous."

Kuno had been raising a forkful of eggs to his mouth. The eggs promptly slid back to the plate.

"Your… boyfriend?" he said.

She laughed. "Don't look so nervous, Kuno-baby. You aren't my boyfriend. Yet. To be honest," she said, with a sigh, "I doubt you ever will be. It's a tough application process. So far, no one has ever made it through."

Ever so slowly, a smile formed on his lips.

"That sounds like a challenge to me."

"It is."

"Then you have met your match," Kuno said. "An epic struggle it may prove to be, but I assure you, I will prevail. I look forward to it, Nabiki Tendo."

"So do I, Kuno-baby," she said. "So do I."

THE END

………

………

**Author's Note**: Two months. 130 pages of rough drafts. Half my sanity. That is what this chapter cost me. I hope you like it.

"I am fortune's fool" is from William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet. 10,000 yen is about 100 US dollars and 200,000 yen is about 2,000 US dollars. Yes, they eat salad as part of their breakfast in Japan.


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